The Most Important Life Lesson | The BridgeMaker

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The Most Important Life Lesson Posted: 28 Nov 2010 10:18 AM PST In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back (Charlie Brown). – Charles Schulz The sun is rising a little later and setting a little earlier now. Autumn's waning days tell me that December is on its way. Christmas will be here soon and after Christmas, a new year. And when December arrives, time will accelerate to the speed of light, or so it may seem. The year's quick exit will be a welcome relief, I think. My family has seen its share of difficulty this year. Good-byes, disappointments, and a few bad choices have left their mark. There have been times when we have stumbled, fallen and felt like giving up. But now with the worse seemingly behind us, there is a guarded optimism settling in as December approaches. We have made it though. We are intact; we are alive and we are ready to have a reason to celebrate. The time we spend together during the Christmas holidays will give us a chance to recall the lessons learned this year and how we can find the value in each one. Taking time to consider life’s lessons is an empowering way to acknowledge what has happened, and at the same time discovering how each lesson can make us stronger, more faithful and determined to learn more about ourselves. I have the sense these lessons will be among the most precious gifts my family opens this Christmas: Live right now You can't change the past or control the future, but you can give your mind, heart and soul to what is happening right now. Consider your commitments seriously Before committing, be convinced; be absolutely sure it's what you want to do. Trust recovers slowly When temptation wins over common sense, trust will return, but cautiously. Be patient. Wait for it. And when trust recovers, put it in a safe place and away from what you know will challenge it again. Ask to be carried When you feel weary, allow yourself to fall into the arms of someone stronger and asked to be carried. Your burdens don't feel heavy to others when their love is used to lift you up. You see what your create In misery you see the enemy; in grace you see the possibility. You don't have to run 100 miles an hour Be Still. Listen. Allow the light to find you. Rushing at 100 miles an hour looking for peace will cause you to miss the fact it’s standing in front of you. Faith never lets go The next time you fell like giving up, extend your hand; the first thing you grab will be your faith. Hold on to it and know it will always hold on to you. It's not about where you've been; it's about where you will be taken Your past doesn't define who you can be in this moment. Use the present, this very second, to decide who you want to be and then start heading in that direction. You are worthy to have what you want Peace, love and happiness aren't for everybody but you. You are worthy to have to your heart's desire, too – all you have to do is ask. There is love or fear You have a choice: Live in love or live in fear. There is no in-between. The most important life lesson I have already received my Christmas gift. Recently, Mary Beth and I were preparing dinner while discussing a particularly hard stretch. Standing at the sink peeling potatoes, tears filled my wife's eyes. She told me she couldn't have made it through if it wasn't for my support. She told me that the commitment I made seven years ago to change has made all the difference in our life today. While I can't take back the first 18 years of our marriage, I can continue to give her and my family what they need from me most – strength, faith and love. I believe the challenging times experienced this year have happened for a reason. I believe my family will be made stronger by these obstacles. I also believe God gives us hardship not to break us, but to make our faith stronger; faith not only in Him, but in ourselves, too. I'm certain the lessons I have learned, and the ones I'm still learning, are ones that will continue to make a difference for me. I'm also certain the lessons my wife, sons and daughters are learning will allow them to experience their world for the better. December is almost here. My family will soon gather around one another again. I hope amidst the hugs, laughter and tears there will be a clear understanding of the lessons learned this year. And for me? My heart is at peace. This past year has been a wonderful reminder of the most important life lesson I have learned: I am not who I was. A special thank you I would to thank fellow bloggers Abubakar Jamil and Farnoosh Brock for inviting me to participate in the Life Lesson Series. While I decided to write about just one year, the lessons learned will no doubt last my family a lifetime. More than 70 bloggers are participating in the Life Lesson Series. You can read their life lessons, here. I also invite you visit Abubakar's blog, AbubakarJamil.com and Farnoosh's blog, Prolific Living – both are full of inspirational and helpful articles. Please Spread the Word Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex

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How Blogs Can Change Your Life | The BridgeMaker

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How Blogs Can Change Your Life Posted: 23 Nov 2010 02:36 PM PST A blog is merely a tool that lets you do anything from change the world to share your shopping list. – Unknown Article written by BridgeMaker contributor Ali Luke. Please visit her at Aliventures.com. I don’t know whether you’re a blog writer or not, but you’re definitely a blog reader. This might be the very first blog post you’ve ever read. More likely, though, you came here through a link from another blog, or you’ve been a reader of The BridgeMaker for a while – and you probably read at least a few other blogs too. That means that blogs absolutely have the potential to change your life. Sceptical? Intrigued? Either way, read on… Blogs: Information and Connection There are hundreds of thousands of blogs out there. Sure, an awful lot of them are rambling personal journals – but there’s a huge core of fantastic, valuable information – all for free. Want to learn something new? You don’t need to pay for evening classes or head back to college, or even buy books. Whatever you’re interested in – cooking, public speaking, playing the guitar, bringing up kids, time management – there’s bound to be dozens of blogs about it. A useful blog could give you the knowledge which you need to make a career change. An inspiring one could give you the confidence and motivation which you need to reach for your dreams. Be open to the possibility of change. Don’t see blogs as something which you just read – see them as material to engage with. Blogs are a great place to connect with other people with the same interests as you. If you read a few blogs but rarely or never leave comments, I’d urge you to find one post to comment on today (it might be this one). Let the author – and the other readers – know your thoughts. Writing a Blog: Why It Changes You Maybe you have your own blog, or you’ve thought about writing one. I’d urge you to give it a go. Blogging will change you – in many good ways. If you want to write but struggle to find the time, blogging can give you a great reason: readers who’re waiting for your next post. If you’re interested in exploring different ways of expressing yourself – in writing, but also with audio or even video content – then blogging lets you do that. It’s not like writing a book: you don’t have to stick to one narrow topic, or one style. You can bring in fiction (like Alex did with What Hope Really Means) or branch out into poetry. If you want to learn, then writing a blog can be even more effective than reading one. Perhaps you’re a new parent, sharing your own experiences and lessons learned. Maybe you’re getting a grip on your own finances, and blogging about your journey. (That’s how the popular finance blog The Simple Dollar started – when the writer, Trent Hamm, decided to get out of debt.) The process of writing itself can be hugely valuable; if you’ve ever kept a journal, you may have experienced that for yourself. Writing a coherent blog post helps you to clarify your own thoughts – often coming up with new insights along the way. Where Could Blogging Take You? Blogs are here to stay. New blogs are started every single day, and hundreds of new readers are getting online. The beauty of blogging is that there’s no one set path. You could write a blog simply as a hobby, and have a great time making new friends – who might live across the world from you. Or you might eventually end up with a six figure income from that blog. (That’s what happened to Darren Rowse from ProBlogger, for instance.) Blogging has taken me in directions I’d never have imagined. When I graduated from college four years ago, I thought I’d have an office job for the next few years – and, if I was lucky, eventually make money writing novels. With blogging, I can make a living and pursue my writing at the same time. I work on a number of projects – freelance blogging for big sites, generating revenue for my own sites through advertising and affiliate sales, selling my own digital products, and coaching other writers. I don’t know quite where I’ll go next – but I know I’m excited to find out! And I don’t know exactly where blogs will take you. But, if you give them a change, they just might change your life. More from Ali Luke Ali Luke and Thursday Bram have put together the Creativity Toolbox, a must-have resource full of tools to help you get going and keep moving forwards. The Creativity Toolbox will help you if feel overwhelmed and can't find time to be creative. Give it a look – just click here. Please Spread the Word Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex The BridgeMaker - A blog about faith, inspiration and stories of personal change.

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Seven Powerful Ways to Reignite the Fire Inside | The BridgeMaker

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Seven Powerful Ways to Reignite the Fire Inside Posted: 21 Nov 2010 10:30 AM PST Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music. – Angela Monet The passion that burns in your soul helps to sustain you through difficult times. This fire creates the energy necessary to overcome obstacles and solve problems. It also creates the momentum to take you closer to realizing your dreams. Sometimes the fire that fuels your passion can flicker and burn out. With no flame to show you the way, you can become discouraged. When the flame is gone, you may begin to feel hopeless and feel like giving up. When this happens, you will need to find new ways to become reenergized. The following seven ways to reignite the fire inside can become the fuel needed to get going again. Consider these as a roadmap; a blueprint, for creating a life that is truly your own; a life filled with happiness and a life burning with passion. 1. Make a Commitment What are you doing with your life? Are you simply existing rather than living? Are you are a human doing rather than a human being? Commitment means to lock-in to what you want and allow nothing to get in your way. When setbacks happen (and they will) it's best to reframe these circumstances until you see a solution and a path forward. Believe deep down you are capable of seeing your dream realized. Success in life depends on taking action. The catalyst for the action is your dream. Your commitment is the method for transitioning from the mental creation of the dream and to the physical manifestation of it. With commitment, you will find yourself as a human being who and what you are capable of being. 2. Keep an Open Mind Once you make the commitment to pursue your passion, you will see something wonderful begin to happen – you will become open to the possibilities that exist for you. By keeping an open mind, you will soon experience life-changing people entering your life. They will take an active role in helping you realize your goals. Likewise, events will begin to develop which may seem like a coincidence at first, but you will soon realize these events are not accidents, but part of what contributes to your purpose in life. When you keep an open mind, you will be able to touch the hearts of others and help them to reignite their fire, too. 3. Be Persistent If having a dream and planning its course is a journey, then persistence is the engine that keeps you going – no matter the obstacles or dead ends encountered along the way. Persistence is what keeps your legs strong when the waves are crashing all around you. Persistence is your life ring, your hope and your inner voice that tells you to never give up. Persistence is also a choice. When you encounter an obstacle, you can either choose to keep fighting, or you can choose to quit. 4. Be Flexible To find success you need to pay attention to what is working and to what is not. You need to find a way to do more of what is working so you get more of what you want. This shift in position is the essence of flexibility. Remember this sage advice: "If you always do what you've always, done, you'll always get what you've always got." A variation of this statement provides a succinct definition for insanity as "the definition of insanity is doing what you always done, but expecting different results." The point of both is if you want to experience change in your life, then you have to be willing to change. Many times what keeps you from becoming open to change is you are afraid to move out of your comfort zone. Becoming flexible allows you to take the first step outside of your comfort zone. Waiting on the other side is growth; beautiful, passionate growth. 5. Have Faith When you become weary from trying to find your passion, the one thing that tells you to keep going is your faith. However, beware of the people who tell you that you can't do something. These are the people who once had a dream but are now settling for something less. These are the people who have been gradually worn down by life. These are the people who have lost their faith. Have faith you are making a difference in this world. Have faith this world is a better place because you're in it. Have faith you are going to find your passion again. 6. Show Thankfulness Thankfulness generates positive energy. There's no question it is easier to be thankful about your life when things are going well. But, how do you turn things around when you are not getting the results you expect? An important answer is to show more gratitude for what you do have rather than show disappointment for the things you do not have. Consider all of the relationships in your life. Think about your co-workers, your friends, your children and your partner. You have the power to change any negative relationship to a more positive one by showing thankfulness. 7. Live Your Passion Your heart holds the deepest desires and passions. Pursuing these desires will lead to the happiness, success and fulfillment you deserve. To find your heart's true desire is a simple process. Make a list of the things you want to be or want to accomplish. Pour your heart and soul into this list. When you are finished, the one that jumps off the page and makes you cry is your passion. Follow this one, honor it and never give up on it. Keep listening to your heart and allow your passion to take you wherever it wants to go. Your happiness will be waiting there. How do you reignite your fire inside? When you feel your flame burring low, how do you reignite it and get going again? Please share in Comments below. Reading this by email? Please visit the blog to share – just click here. Please Spread the Word Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex The BridgeMaker - A blog about faith, inspiration and stories of personal change.

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The Life Imagined by a 12-Year-Old Girl | The BridgeMaker

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The Life Imagined by a 12-Year-Old Girl Posted: 16 Nov 2010 03:00 AM PST The Girl Effect campaign is about possibility, justice, and sending love across the world. – Tara Mohr Emily turns 12-years-old next month. Our younger daughter attends school, takes dance classes, rides horses, eats when she is hungry and has a limitless future ahead of her. She goes to bed with a kiss and wakes up to hope, abundance and love surrounding her. Emily's life belongs to her and she doesn't have to worry about it being taken away. However, the life imagined by my daughter is different than the life imagined by 50 million other 12-year-old girls who go to bed hungry and wake up to uncertainty surrounding them. But there is hope to for these young women who don't have the same advantages as my Emily. This promise of hope is the power of The Girl Effect. The Girl Effect is a global movement. By investing in young adolescent girls we can help them overcome poverty, illiteracy, and teenage pregnancy. The following three-minute video provides an overview of the issues these girls face as well the solutions we can provide. Reading by email? Please visit the blog to watch the video – just click here. The Girl Effect Blogging Campaign Tara Mohr of Wise Living Blog has organized a blogging campaign to promote awareness of The Girl Effect project. The campaign brings together over 30 bloggers who are helping spread the message of this important cause. While none of the bloggers (including myself) are formally affiliated with The Girl Effect, we decided to take one day to blog about this topic. Read more about Tara's campaign and see how you can participate, here. The power of second chances I decided to participate in the campaign because The Girl Effect hits close to home. With three of our children out of the house, Emily reminds Mary Beth and me that our child-at-home parenting days are not over yet. We are often entertained (and sometimes irritated) by her energetic spirit and her enthusiastic gusto for life helps us feel young. Our daughter keeps our nest from being empty for a while longer. Emily is the youngest of our four children. There are twelve years separating her from our oldest child, Brandon and nine years between Emily and her older sister, Caitlin. She is seven years younger than her brother, Andrew. There’s no question our daughter was brought into this world with a special purpose in mind because the odds against her getting here were immense. Her conception, while planned, came after a miscarriage and the decision Andrew would be our last. But out of blind faith, my wife and I decided to try again. Our faith was tested one more time the day Emily was born. She came into the world blue and not the healthy pink we were expecting. The doctors took our daughter to a separate corner of the birthing room where they were able to stabilize her. Rather than putting Emily on her mother's chest with me by their side, she was taken to an incubator to help keep her alive instead. Born six weeks early, our daughter was transported to the Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters where she spent nine days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. After a blood transfusion, numerous tests and the concern of several doctors, it was a nurse who discovered the cause of Emily's illness. The nurse heard a clicking sound when listening to her heart. This sound was from a hole in a heart valve. Because of her premature birth, the hole did not have a chance to close before birth. After several rounds of medicine, the clicking sound ended and a beautiful shade of pink came over our daughter. Emily Grace Blackwell was given a second chance. She received this second chance not because she is worthier than any other girl; she received the second chance because of the power of love. A mother's love, a father's love and God's love took care of a girl who wasn't able to take care of herself. The Girl Effect project, then, is a way for me to extend my love to other girls who need a second chance. While I can't take care of 50 million 12-year-old girls, I can help create awareness for what they need. With the power of the 30 other bloggers who are part of this campaign, we have the potential to reach millions of people – one person at a time. The power of each person taking just one action can make a positive difference. By the power of your love, the life imagined by these 12-year-old girls can turn from despair and to hope. Consider participating in The Girl Effect project so another worthy girl receives a second chance, too. Please share in Comments how you can help. The BridgeMaker will donate an additional four dollars for each comment received. Reading this by email? Please visit the blog to leave your comment – just click here. Here's how you can help right now: Visit the Share It page where you will find a web banner, presentation kit, event guide, additional videos and logos. Share their website http://www.girleffect.org on your online social networks (Facebook, Twitter) and through email. Like their Facebook page. Follow on Twitter. Spread the word by tweeting about this blogging campaign, and use the hashtag #girleffect Make a donation. Tell me what you want: I will help you achieve it.

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What Do You Stand For? | The BridgeMaker

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What Do You Stand For? Posted: 10 Nov 2010 05:43 PM PST A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything. – Malcolm X Inspiration has a way of finding us when we least expect it. I had the opportunity to visit a unique inner city high school recently. The school, part of the Cristo Rey network, teaches more than math and science – it teaches what hope looks like to about 300 students who want just one chance to be successful. My tour guide, a senior who spoke with a mature confidence, knew where he was in life. More important, he knew where he was going. His quiet humility was engaging and his foundation appeared strong. As we walked the school hallways, I had the sense his strong foundation wasn't built entirely on his academic knowledge. He also seemed to have a clear understanding of the virtues he stood for in life. The young man spoke of passion, loyalty and gratitude. His presence radiated responsibility, creativity and self-discipline. Simply put, the young man's character seemed as grounded as his resolve to improve his life – and he was willing to share these beliefs with me. It was my pleasure to receive them. The visit had a profound impact on me. While I often share ideas for serving others, rarely do I share my personal beliefs. It's not that I hide my beliefs; it's just sometimes I forget to tell the world what's important to me. Thanks to my self-assured tour guide, and my visit to a beautiful school brimming with hope, I received some unexpected inspiration to declare what I stand for, too. Kindness Kindness is like snow; it makes everything it covers more beautiful. Empathy Understanding why people feel a certain way is as helpful as understanding how they feel. Respect I show others the respect they deserve – it's all automatic after that. Do the right thing Doing the right thing may not always feel as good, but it will after the temptation passes. Be accountable I own my life – no one else. Love well I try to love myself first and then give more love than I take. Forgiveness Forgiveness is a gift I give to myself so I can be free from the past. Never give up No matter how loud the enemy of my soul shouts, "You can't do it," I will keep the faith. Happiness True happiness is being content with exactly what I have. Live in the middle Somewhere between the high highs and the low lows is a perfectly comfortable middle. Leave it better I hope when my time is over, I will leave the world a little better because I was here. What do you stand for? What are your most fundamental beliefs – your beliefs about life, love and about being you? Please share in Comments below. Reading this by email? Please visit the blog to share – just click here. Please Spread the Word Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex Tell me what you want: I will help you achieve it.

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What Hope Really Means | The BridgeMaker

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What Hope Really Means Posted: 07 Nov 2010 10:23 AM PST Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck. – Dalai Lama Editor's note: The following is short fiction, but the lesson is true. The overnight janitor hitched up his pants after standing. Pulling his ball cap closer to his eyes, he walked to the center of the cavernous hallway. The floors needed new polish. Tonight, his steel-toe boots would cover the same ground that was scuffed by more expensive shoes throughout the day. I walked passed where he had been sitting. A wooden stool was perched in front of a window with a perfect view of what waited outside. Next to the stool was a radio with a missing dial knob. Diana. Marvin. And the Temptations sang with him. Coffee filled the cap from his stainless stain thermos. A half-eaten sandwich rested next to the thermos. I found the office I was looking for and then started for the elevator. This day was finally coming to an end. Home was next. Comfort and peace waited for me there. I hoped. The overnight janitor splashed the last gallon of polish on the floor. I was trying to make my way past him without slipping. Turning my body sideways, I took small, deliberate steps just like I did when I was a young boy trying to cross the creek. Just as my body passed his, I fell. He grabbed my shirt before I hit the floor. He placed his other hand around my back and helped me to his stool. "I thought you were going to fall right on your ass," he said. "Me too," I replied. My protector reached behind me to turn down the volume on the radio. He hovered over me. Looking. Inspecting. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. "Why are you here so late?" he asked. Telling the truth would have been too embarrassing. "I had to drop off my car insurance policy along with a check. It's due at midnight. The agent said if I could get it here, tonight, my insurance wouldn't lapse." "Bullshit," said the janitor, "There aren't any insurance companies here. You got the wrong floor?" "No, I don't have the wrong floor," I stammered. "So why are you here?" he asked again. I opted for the truth this time. "A job. I don't have a job. I came here because I have an interview in suite 800 first thing tomorrow morning. I wanted to do a trial run so I wouldn't be late. I can't afford to screw this up." "Did you find it? You okay now?" he asked as he took a step back. "I'm fine. Sorry for the stumble back there. I hope I didn't mess up your floor." "Have you been out of work long?" he asked. "Long enough. My savings are almost gone – and so is the house. And I'm afraid my wife -" I answered. The janitor picked up the thermos cap and took a sip of coffee. Returning the cap to the floor, he turned the radio's volume back to its previous level and then walked back to the buffer. He had work to do. I stood and tested the floor before taking the first step. Careful not to fall this time, I walked to the opposite end of the hall and to the staircase. The walk down would clear my mind. As I approach the exit sign, I heard his voice. It was deep, rich and full of harmony. The sound was soothing and I wanted to hear more. I moved toward him to take in his music. "You forget something?" he asked. "No. I just wanted to listen. You sound amazing." I told him. "You better get home. You don't want to be late in the morning." He continued the buffing. I turned to leave. Just as I was pushing the staircase door open, I heard his voice again. This time it was directed to me. "Look at there," he said pointing to the window. "What do you see?" "I see other buildings." "What else?" he asked. "I don't know. It's too dark. I can't see much else," I answered. "I see hope," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Hope?" I asked. I peered through the widow again. I was tired. I just wanted to leave and get home. "I haven't always been a janitor," he said. Turning back to him, I asked, "What have you been, then?" "Unhappy." This was not the word I was expecting. "We can hold on to what we think we should have or accept what we have been given. When we realize that, the unhappiness goes away," he said. Why was he telling me this? "But I need a job," was all I could think to say. "And I don't want to settle for just any job. I want a job that pays well." "What else are you looking for?" he asked, but I could tell he already knew the answer. "Respect," was the first word that came up. "Respect for who? You?” he asked. "Yes. Me. Especially respect from my wife." I answered. He paused and allowed my words to fill the space between for us for a moment. "Then don't settle for a job you don't want," he told me. "Your life might not be where you want it right now. But it’ll change." Intrigued by what the janitor was saying, I didn't say a word so he would continue. "I work here about every night cleaning toilets and emptying trash cans so I can sing. This is my personal rehearsal studio. The lights from the other buildings create a spotlight just for me.” He pointed to the lights beaming through the window over his stool. "This place gives me hope. I may not always buff these floors, but I will always sing. And where I sing next is up to me." The janitor started the buffer before I could reply. It was time for me to go now. His work was not finished and I was keeping him from it. The chilly night air greeted me as I stepped outside. I found my car and started home. Driving home, I recalled his beautiful voice and allowed his words to settle in my heart. I made a pact with myself. If the job interview doesn't go well tomorrow I will start my book. An overnight job at a gas station or convenience store would give me the time to write. I could feel the self respect begin to come alive in me. The confidence made me feel giddy. I had no idea doubt weighed so much. Releasing the doubt made me feel lighter, courageous and free. What happens next is up to me. Finding some solid footing felt good for a change. Learning what hope really means felt even better. Please Spread the Word Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex Tell me what you want: I will help you achieve it.

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