Thursday, October 28, 2010

You Are Free | The BridgeMaker

You Are Free | The BridgeMaker


You Are Free

Posted: 27 Oct 2010 04:46 PM PDT

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. – Lewis B. Smedes

Our prisons are built one brick at a time. Each brick represents a painful moment, a damaging word, or a self-limiting belief. These prisons keep us from a life that is waiting; these prisons keep us from freedom.

However, your life sentence can be commuted whenever you are ready for a reprieve. All you have to do is say the words your heart longs to hear, "I am free." And you will be free.

You don't have to do anything else to secure your freedom. You were born free. Your soul is free to roam. This freedom allows you to experience the world on your terms. You are free to dream, to hope and to pursue whatever lives in your heart.

Freedom feels like taking a deep breath after swimming under water. Freedom feels like watching the sunrise after thinking the night would never end. Freedom feels like a gentle kiss after falling down.

Imagine what freedom would feel like right now.

Imagine
Freedom from fear
Freedom from loneliness
Freedom from the addiction
Freedom from limitations
Freedom from anxiety
Freedom from criticism
Freedom from despair
Freedom from wearing the masks
Freedom from shame
Freedom from the past

Imagine
Freedom to desire
Freedom to think what you please
Freedom to ask for what you want
Freedom to dance in the rain
Freedom to know what love really means
Freedom to trust
Freedom to feel amazing just the way you are
Freedom to smile
Freedom to find where safe is for you
Freedom to live anyway you choose
Freedom to forgive
Freedom to be forgiven
Freedom to love yourself a little more each day

Freedom doesn't come with a price, but it does come with a promise. The promise is simple and it's delivered to you with three simple, but life-changing words:

Acknowledge

Acknowledge what's holding you back.
Acknowledge what needs to be changed.
Acknowledge the restlessness of wanting more.
Acknowledge the blessings in your life.
Acknowledge your strength.

Accept

Accept no matter the past, you can begin again.
Accept a plan has been created just for you.
Accept you are not perfect.
Accept goodness is meant for you, too.
Accept the beautiful you.

Allow

Allow your worthiness to be seen.
Allow good things to find you.
Allow your gifts to be shared.
Allow hope.
Allow love.

Freedom's promise

Freedom's promise is simple: Nothing has power over you without your permission.

You are free.

Please Spread the Word
Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex

Please Spread the Word: 10 Free Ways to Support The BridgeMaker

Monday, October 25, 2010

14 Ways to Find Serenity Amid the Chaos | The BridgeMaker

14 Ways to Find Serenity Amid the Chaos | The BridgeMaker


14 Ways to Find Serenity Amid the Chaos

Posted: 24 Oct 2010 10:48 AM PDT

Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm. – Author Unknown

Our lives are lived at full speed. It can feel like there's no slow motion option, no slow lanes where we can knock down the speed for a little while and no timeouts to use – it's just life played at the speed of sound. Urgency is our new normal and it defines the pace of our day.

But there is a better way. There is a way to take back our time; to reclaim our peace of mind and to find solace amid the chaos. There is a way to find serenity again.

Serenity is the oasis in the middle of the busyness. It's the place where we can refuel before heading back into the fray. Serenity is the place where we can find ourselves when we have become too busy to look.

Serenity doesn't have to be just a wish. It can become a reality when you take specific steps to find it. Consider the following 14 ways to find serenity. And when you do, be sure to stop, relax and enjoy the beautiful life you are creating, – even when it's being obscured by the supersonic vapor trails.

  1. Step away
    Unplug, disconnect and step away from your routine – if only for a little while. The way you keep in touch with others can be what's keeping you out of touch with you. Shut the lid to your computer's laptop and power down your Smartphone. Take a few minutes to consider nothingness and then feel your mind fill up with newfound clarity.
  2. Find fresh air
    There is a world full of brilliant, fresh smells. The crispness of a gentle breeze, the fragrance of fresh-cut grass, and the aroma of lilacs, azaleas and honeysuckle wait for your pleasure. Open the door and breathe in fresh air that is powerful enough to recharge your spirit.
  3. Hit reset
    It isn't the reset button has stopped working; it may be you have stopped looking for it. When things seem overwhelming, reach into the middle of the chaos and allow your faith to find it. You find it by asking for clarification when you lack understanding; you find it by asking others to go a little slower and you find the reset button by acknowledging when you need a little help. Hitting the reset button is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of the amazing power you have over your life.
  4. Smile
    Taking a moment to see the brighter side can reinvigorate your mind and soul. Smile at the slow-moving checkout lines; smile at the rude store clerk and smile at yourself when a mistake is made. Laughter, along with your smile, brings serenity to even the most stressful situation.
  5. Trust your inner wisdom
    When you hear your inner wisdom, your inner voice, speak to you, it may be a good idea to listen. Your inner wisdom knows you better than anyone. It knows when you feel tired, discouraged and impatient. When it says, "slow down," respect what you hear. Your inner wisdom will take you to serenity when you trust enough to follow it.
  6. Forgive yourself
    Being angry is exhausting. Anger takes energy and time. When you make a mistake, acknowledge it, own it and then forgive yourself. Regret hurts your soul; but forgiveness frees it. And in the freedom, serenity is waiting.
  7. Create a Blessings list
    Finding time to recognize the blessings in your life is an opportunity to focus on the positive. Find a quiet place, grab paper and pen and write down the wonderful things, the blessings, in your life. When you are finished, absorb the words and allow their goodness to take you to place of indescribable bliss.
  8. Remember…no one is perfect.
    Life isn't about getting it right all of the time; it's about making the most of the time you have to live it. Perfection breeds anxiety. Let go of the notion you have to do more to be perfect and embrace the truth you are perfect just the way you are. When you do, a peaceful calm will meet you right where you are.
  9. Be grateful
    Rather than focusing on what you don't have, be grateful for what you do have. By living in a grateful state you are opening channels that will lead you to finding serenity in not just the extraordinary things, but in the ordinary things as well.
  10. Wellness
    When your body is worn-down and tired, your mind and spirit will quickly follow. Put good things in your body, exercise, and pay attention to the aches and pains. Make your body strong so your soul will be well.
  11. Step into nature
    Stepping into nature can be a bridge from stress and to serenity. There is a simple tranquility about being outside. The noise dissipates and the air feels cleaner. Nature provides a natural decompression chamber that will return your body to a state of peace.
  12. Sleep
    Sleep is the wild card in finding serenity. Without adequate sleep, fatigue, anxiety and depression can feel overwhelming. But with ample sleep, you have a better chance, a fighting chance, for clarity to guide you.
  13. Celebrate small victories
    Take time to celebrate each victory – no matter its size. If you on a diet and refrain from eating a desert; celebrate that. If you worked through your day's to-do list; celebrate that. If you made it to the gym; celebrate that. Small victories create self-confidence and self-confidence creates self-love and love creates serenity.
  14. Learn to say no
    It's difficult sustaining the habit of being all things to all people. When you do, you leave little for yourself. Saying "no," is setting a boundary that is reasonable, and healthy. Saying "no," gives you an opportunity to say "yes," to your need for peace, happiness and serenity.

How do you find serenity?

How do you find serenity amidst the chaos? Please share in Comments below one stress-busting way you achieve serenity. Reading this by email? Please visit the blog to share – just click here.

Please Spread the Word
Be sure to check out my interview Suzie Cheel where I discuss 10 free ways to spread the word.

Additionally, please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex

Please Spread the Word: 10 Free Ways to Support The BridgeMaker

Thursday, October 21, 2010

How Fear Serves You | The BridgeMaker

How Fear Serves You | The BridgeMaker


How Fear Serves You

Posted: 20 Oct 2010 04:29 PM PDT

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. – Marianne Williamson

Article written by BridgeMaker contributor Lorraine Cohen. Please visit her at Powerfull Living.

Fear is all around us and part of our daily existence. We are bombarded by fear messages in our conversations, the media, advertisements, and global conditions. Fear is part of the environment and culture on the planet. The air isn't safe, the water isn't safe, your home needs protection, and cultures are controlled by fear through terror, rules, and restrictions.

So, it has become "normal" for you to have been conditioned to live in fear.

You've been brainwashed to believe you should be afraid about the future, money, relationships, health, jobs, careers, the economy, business downturns, and life survival. All of this produces sleepless nights filled with worry that may create a gloomy outlook on life.

In my practice, I continually hear people express their fears, worries and doubts about their circumstances and the future. Our mind can paint the most horrific worse case scenario that can be convincing as highly probably or likely to happen.

We are powerful story tellers and when we begin to believe and validate the things we imagine, we can lose faith, trust, and courage to show up for both the joys and bumps that make life rich and meaningful.

How to hear the voice of your heart

Last week I had a meltdown. I've had some minor medical challenges that have not been resolved and some business issues that have been stressful. And when I am not feeling my best and not getting adequate rest, I'm pretty reactive and cranky. My fears escalate, my self-talk turns negative.

So there I was sliding right into my victim's role and blasting God for all the things I am unhappy about. I expect God can handle my anger when my life is feeling hard and messy. After 30 minutes of stomping around, crying, complaining, and yelling at God, I could feel the calmness spreading within me and my mind began to clear.

The release of pent up energy was so freeing because I gave myself permission to let loose in a healthy way. Then I was able to go into contemplation, prayer, and meditation to reconnect with my soul for comfort and guidance and to ask for help.

It is hard to hear the voice of your heart when you have all that noise going on in your head! When we keep things bottled up inside and don't release it, that's when we can create illness, physical and emotional problems.

Five ways your fear serves you

  1. Fear keeps you out of harm's way by alerting you to danger.
  2. Fear helps you to discern when you need to set healthy boundaries.
  3. Fear supports you in developing courage to show up to life.
  4. Fear builds faith in yourself, others, and God.
  5. Fear provides motivational and inspirational energy to move forward.

It has been my experience that when you get to the heart of most fears, the greatest fear is the fear of dying. More often the fears we experience can feel enormous during periods of upheaval, change, uncertainty, and transition. This is the ego's irrational fear of annihilation and the battle waged inside us in its struggle to survive and maintain control.

Irrational fears have their genesis from past experiences, real and imagined. Fear is generated by your ego and typically fueled by compelling illusions, anticipated outcomes, and expectations about the future.

When we are engaged in irrational fear we are not in the now. When faced with the emergence of irrational fear, having the ability to distinguish between legitimate ones can make the difference between feeling clobbered or being able to transform them with courage and clarity.

Five signs of an Irrational Fear

  • Is highly emotionally charged.
  • It has catastrophic, self-deprecating, or illusional content that diminishes centeredness and perspective.
  • It is inconsistent with the present reality.
  • It lacks gut-centered confirmation or knowingness.
  • It reflects past psychological, emotional, physical, or wounds.

Courage is not the absence of fear

Courage is about following your heart in spite of what your mind and feelings are telling you. Courage is an act of love and faith to do what is right and true for you; to be willing to do whatever it takes because you must.

Each person expresses and experiences courage differently. Courage is an internal feeling that can be powerfully directed outward in the world as an expression of your heart's desires and soul's intentions.

Ultimately, courage has little to do with what you might view as heroism and heroic acts and everything to do with the choices you make every moment and every day throughout the course of your life. Acts of courage can be seemingly small yet powerfull in the ways you can transform yourself and your life.

You came into this life with everything you need to fulfill your life purpose. This is truer than you may realize.

The key to transforming fear is with your relationship with your essential self and God/The Divine/ Higher Power/Source… Cultivating faith, trust, and courage is an inside job. That's why doing the inner work is so important. If you have so much noise going on in your head, how can you hear the whispers of your heart?

When you walk in faith, trust, and courage with an open heart to share your love, gifts, and passions with the world in partnership, fear loses power to hold you back from your destiny.

Is fear inspiring more faith, trust, and courage or is it keeping you up at night with worry and doubt?
Is fear empowering you or holding you back from fulfilling your dreams and desires?
Is fear inviting connection with others or keeping love at arm's distance?
Do you see fear as something to befriend or something to "get rid" of in your life?
Is fear giving you the courage to speak from your heart or is it silencing your voice?
Imagine partnering with your fear and dancing with the Universe to fulfill your life path……
What would be possible?
It's all within your grasp…..
Start saying Yes and taking one step at a time…in faith, trust, and courage.

Are you ready to start living a love story?

If you are ready to finally free yourself from procrastination, fear, and ego based excuses, release the past, and align with the destiny that you came here to live, join Lorraine Cohen and her and partner Anita (Ani) Pathik Law for 13-week transformational adventure beginning November 2.

The Aligning with Destiny program will help you transform yourself and your life now. Download the preview calls with Lorraine and Anita which aired on 10/3, 10/10 and 10/19. You will also receive other helpful resources – just click here!

Please Spread the Word: 10 Free Ways to Support The BridgeMaker

Monday, October 18, 2010

A Behind-the-Scenes Look at The BridgeMaker | The BridgeMaker

A Behind-the-Scenes Look at The BridgeMaker | The BridgeMaker


A Behind-the-Scenes Look at The BridgeMaker

Posted: 17 Oct 2010 10:37 AM PDT

The unexamined life is not worth living. – Socrates

Creating The BridgeMaker is one of the best decisions I have made. It provides the chance for self-expression, to discover new (and old things) about myself, and publishing the blog gives me an opportunity to meet some wonderful people.

Tess Marshall of The Bold Life is one of these wonderful people. She recently invited me to be interviewed on her blog. Tess asked thoughtful questions and she surprised me by asking some personal questions as well. Even though I'm transparent about the events in my life, I do hold back from sharing too much about me.

If you would like a behind-the-scenes look at The BridgeMaker here’s my interview with Tess. Following the interview is a bonus behind-the-scenes look at me where I allow the window to my life to be opened a little wider.

The Bold Life interview

What inspired you to begin The BridgeMaker
I started The BridgeMaker in September, 2008 as a creative outlet for my love of writing and to see how I could begin to make a difference in the world, one person at a time. Since launching the blog, I have created a purpose statement, or a "why I blog" statement: To share my heart and to touch the heart of others.

It is named The BridgeMaker because I want the blog to be a place where people can travel from where they are today to where they want to be tomorrow. All of us have the capacity to be "bridgemakers" when we extend our experiences, faith, inspiration, and more important, our love to others.

Briefly tell us about your new e-book and how it would benefit us.
My new eBook, How to Love Consciously, explores the power and joy of love. It gives practical advice for improving relationships, inspiring romance and showing how love can continue to grow over a lifetime (Mary Beth and I have been married for over 25 years and we are still going strong).

How to Love Consciously provides eight straight-from-the-heart written chapters for creating lasting love in your life. The eBook is also absolutely free and the best part is the Foreword is written by you – Thanks Tess!

What spiritual practices do you use regularly to "keep the faith?"
For me, "keeping the faith" is acknowledging my past while continuing to move forward. There is a recurrent theme in many of my blog posts that goes something like, "You must acknowledge what you want to change or heal."

So, I keep my faith by knowing I have come a long way. And while I still have a ways to go, my life is full of abundance and love – two things that keep me faithful because they tell me that I am indeed worthy to be loved and to have my heart's desire.

What about your life will I not find in your bio or on your about page?
You will not find I'm an avid baseball fan. However, living in Kansas City is tough this time of year because I see the other teams in the playoffs and I know the Royals have so far to go.

You will not find I love to run and workout. In fact, I'm currently training for a Thanksgiving Day 5K race where I hope to finish in less than 21 minutes.

You will not find I have a professional job as a marketing director in the publishing industry.

You will not find I love lazy Sunday afternoons lounging on the couch, watching football while sipping a glass of wine.

What is the best advice you would give to couples who want to improve their relationship?
What saved my marriage seven years ago is when I started putting my wife's needs before my own. This doesn't mean I don't I matter in the relationship, it just means when I put effort in ensuring Mary Beth has what she needs to be happy and successful, I find my needs are naturally met.

When both partner's needs are being met, then things like anxiety, hostility and bitterness leave the relationship. And things like intimacy, friendship and romance enter it.

Is there a defining moment in your life that changed everything?
Yes. While attending a personal development seminar seven years ago, I learned all of the garbage I had been carrying my entire life was costing me the happiness I deserved.

Feeling guilty for my brother's accident; not being able to keep my mother from alcohol; and tormented for wearing eyeglasses and speaking with an impediment as a young boy, had created so much toxic shame that I had lost myself in it. I threw out the garbage that day and reclaimed my dignity; my confidence and discovered self-love. And I haven't looked back.

What legacy will you leave behind?
The legacy I want to leave behind is for people to know it is okay to be positive and nice. You can have a demanding job and be nice, too. You can disagree with someone, but still find something positive in the resolution.

Life is short and happens quickly. We can either choose to be disappointed with what we have or we can choose to see the goodness in everything around us.

I choose to see the goodness. I choose happiness. I choose love. And I hope others will, too.

Seven things about myself

Thanks to Andrea DeBell of britetalk for providing the motivation to be more transparent. She models this admirably in her article, The Gift of Unexpected Friendships. Thanks to her prompting, here are seven things you may not know about me:

  1. My family is the center of my life, too. I write about them often because each one adds indescribable value and love to everything I do. Pictured above (from left to right): Andrew, Mary Beth, Caitlin, Emily and Brandon.
  2. When I was in high school I had a job washing pots and pans in a United States Marine Corps dining hall. The room was 10' x 10' and reached temperatures exceeding 100 degrees. The job taught me the value of hard work and reminded me college would be the best option after high school.
  3. My goal is to retire at age 62 and live in both Italy and Spain for one month each, every year.
  4. This is my formula, or ritual, for writing: I generally write every evening from 7 to 9 p.m. in my kitchen watching a game (baseball, football, etc.) on a muted television while listening to contemporary Christian music.
  5. My favorite time of the year is right now, Autumn, or Fall as we call it in the US. I love the crisp temperatures, the beautiful foliage, and decorating the house for Halloween.
  6. I really stepped outside of my comfort zone a couple of years ago when I dressed as Billy Idol for a rock-star-themed party I attended. To be honest, it was Mary Beth who came up with the idea and costume, but I went through with it – white spiked hair, earrings, temporary tattoos, and all. Wanna see? Just click here.
  7. My horoscope sign is Cancer; my favorite color is blue; I need that first cup of coffee every morning; I was raised Lutheran, later became Catholic and now I simply allow His spirit to guide me; and I plan to write for the incredible readers of The BridgeMaker for many more years to come.
  8. Plus one more: To the college English professor who advised me to change majors because I didn’t have the talent to become a professional writer – thank you for the inspiration.

Share, too?

You are invited to give us a behind-the-scenes look into your life or blog, too. Please share in Comments below one thing about yourself that may provide encouragement for others. Reading this by email? Please visit the blog to leave your comment – just click here.

Please Spread the Word
Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex

Please Spread the Word: 10 Free Ways to Support The BridgeMaker

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Bite Sized Pieces of Change | The BridgeMaker

Bite Sized Pieces of Change | The BridgeMaker


Bite Sized Pieces of Change

Posted: 13 Oct 2010 10:15 AM PDT

Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever. – Keri Russell

I love autumn. After a long hot summer in Kansas City, this year's parade of colors is both beautiful and appreciated. It's amazing to watch nature because it knows when to do things differently. The earth wanted to be refreshed so it changed from summer into autumn to find some relief.

Autumn is a time for change. The lazy days of summer have ended and the frantic pace of the holiday season is fast approaching. But the busyness isn't here yet. Now is autumn – a time to re-group and re-focus, and to rekindle our faith, hopes and dreams.

Like the leaves turning from green to red, orange and yellow, change is good for us, too. Change allows us to redefine and reinvent ourselves. Change gives us the opportunity to see things differently and to do things differently. If we always stayed the same then we wouldn't have the chance to reveal all of our beautiful colors. Change allows us to find the relief we need.

Sometimes the enormity of what we want to change feels like there's an elephant staring at us. However, change doesn't happen by eating the elephant in one bite, it begins by eating the elephant one bite at a time. We don't have to change everything about ourselves all at once, we just need to begin changing some things – a few bites at a time.

New choices bring change and change brings growth. So, begin by making a few new choices, a few bite sized choices, about what you want to refresh in your life. Here are a few examples to help get you started:

  • Goal: Live healthier.
    Bite Sized Pieces of Change: Take the stairs instead of the elevator; trade the fries for a salad; go to bed a little earlier; relax and breathe.
  • Goal: Improve the connection with your spouse or partner.
    Bite Sized Pieces of Change: Make time to be together; listen to the answer after asking a question; appreciate what you do have; say "I love you," more often.
  • Goal: Become more productive.
    Bite Sized Pieces of Change: Make a list of things to do and then prioritize it; check your email only twice daily; eliminate distractions and focus on what's important; de-clutter your desk and computer's desktop.
  • Goal: Work on you.
    Bit Sized Pieces of Change: Replace a complaint with a compliment; read one book weekly; practice stillness (prayer, mediation, self-reflection) 30 minutes each day; turn off the television and turn on life.
  • Goal: Save more. Spend less.
    Bit Sized Pieces of Change: Throw away all but one credit card (use this one for emergencies); eat at home more often; wait two days before making a major purchase; create a budget and then follow it.
  • Goal: Break one bad habit.
    Bit Sized Pieces of Change: Become aware of one negative habit; make the commitment to change; ask for help and support along the way; commit to one daily action that will effect change; don't give up.

Experience your life differently

You don't have to turn the world upside down to experience change in your life. Often times it's the small things, the quiet victories you are able to claim, that will lead to lasting change.

After arriving to a place of change, take time to celebrate the accomplishment. Soak it in before considering your next bite.

Soon the leaves will fall and winter will hold its grip. And after that, change will occur again and new leaves will spring out of the once-frozen limbs. These leaves will be filled with a new-found energy for life because just a few months earlier they made the commitment to a bite sized piece of change.

Elsewhere: Read my interview on The Bold Life

Tess Marshall of The Bold Life invited me to a recent interview. She asked some great questions; including: “What spiritual practices do you use regularly to keep the faith?,” “What about your life will I not find in your bio or on your about page?” and “What is the best advice you would give to couples who want to improve their relationship?”

Read my answers on Tess Marshall’s awesome blog – just click here.

Please Spread the Word
Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex

Please Spread the Word: 10 Free Ways to Support The BridgeMaker

Monday, October 11, 2010

Go MAD Today and Make a Difference | The BridgeMaker

Go MAD Today and Make a Difference | The BridgeMaker


Go MAD Today and Make a Difference

Posted: 10 Oct 2010 10:15 AM PDT

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. – Anne Frank

You may not solve every problem or help everyone in need, but you do have permission to go MAD (Make A Difference) today. When you focus on making a positive impact, just one helpful act, then you can change the world – one day at a time.

Making a difference has no scale. It can be saying the encouraging words at just the right time or it can be agreeing to do a chore that will make someone's day a little easier. Going MAD means making a difference by providing whatever resources you have to improve the lives you touch, everyday.

The point isn't to judge the value of what you provide; the point is to provide your unique gifts and talents whenever possible. When you do, you will go MAD. Needs some ideas? Here's a list of 50 ways you can make a difference today.

  1. Donate toys or books to children in need.
  2. Give blood.
  3. Look for what's right in the world.
  4. Live responsibly.
  5. Adopt a pet from the Humane Society.
  6. Become a Big Sister or Big Brother.
  7. Clean up trash in your neighborhood.
  8. Organize a canned goods food drive.
  9. Deliver meals to the homebound.
  10. Read to a child.
  11. Teach a senior citizen how to use a computer or the internet.
  12. Smile.
  13. Care for a neighbor's pet when needed.
  14. Encourage people to vote.
  15. Plant flowers in public areas
  16. Coach your child's sports team.
  17. Offer your seat on the bus or train to someone who needs it more.
  18. Donate clothes to the Salvation Army.
  19. Buy a meal for a homeless person.
  20. Volunteer on a Hotline for an organization that is important to you.
  21. Become an organ donor.
  22. Listen to others.
  23. Don't litter.
  24. Receive CPR training.
  25. Organize a recycling system for your home.
  26. Offer your loose change to someone who needs it.
  27. Share your knowledge.
  28. Participate in a 5K, 10K or marathon event for your favorite charity.
  29. Record books on a MP3 for the visually impaired.
  30. Tutor a student who needs some extra help.
  31. Contact a local volunteer organization for opportunities to serve.
  32. Call someone who would be encouraged by hearing your voice.
  33. Give your child your undivided attention.
  34. Become a health and wellness accountability partner.
  35. Donate money to your favorite charity, cause or church.
  36. Don't start or spread gossip.
  37. Arrange a date night with your partner.
  38. Give an unexpected compliment.
  39. Forgive someone.
  40. Write a letter to someone who has made a positive impact on you.
  41. Donate an old computer to a school, church or other non-profit organization.
  42. Hold a door open for someone.
  43. Donate books to your local library.
  44. Don't drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
  45. Pick up groceries or medicine for an elderly person.
  46. Be considerate.
  47. Volunteer at your local hospital.
  48. Babysit for a friend in need.
  49. Befriend a new neighbor or student.
  50. Let the world see the beautiful you.

How will you go MAD today?

Please share your ideas in Comments below about other ways you can make a difference. Reading this by email? Please visit the blog to leave your comment – just click here.

Please Spread the Word

Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex

Please Spread the Word: 10 Free Ways to Support The BridgeMaker

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A Simple Guide to a Beautiful Marriage | The BridgeMaker

A Simple Guide to a Beautiful Marriage | The BridgeMaker


A Simple Guide to a Beautiful Marriage

Posted: 06 Oct 2010 06:04 PM PDT

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. – Oscar Wilde

Mary Beth recently returned from a five-day trip. She was attending to personal business while I stayed home to hold down the fort. The regular day-to-day activities continued, but with a different beat.

My wife and I have developed a reliable rhythm over the past 25 years. She likes tackling the home improvement list and I like tackling the housecleaning; she likes cooking without recipes and I like cooking comfort food; she likes building things and I like maintaining them.

Mary Beth is my liberator and I am her protector.

Sometimes when what we have is removed; we can see it with better clarity. When she was gone, I realized, once again, how much I love her and how beautiful our life is together.

Our approach to marriage has changed over the years. We don't expect it to be perfect; we only expect it to last. We look for what the other needs and then try to give that. We are learning what we really need is for the other to be happy. Through years of trial and error, what we are learning most is how to create a marriage that can be expressed in five simple, heartfelt and beautiful words.

It's my pleasure to share a husband's perspective, my perspective, and this simple guide to a beautiful marriage.

Respect
Respect your wife. Give her the freedom to grow and build a life that doesn't include you. Allow her to see the wonderful gifts inside of her and then celebrate as your wife shares these with the world. Respect the love she gives you. Soak it in. Let it cover you with its sweetness. Understand this is the best gift she can give anyone. Honor her gift with your love and fidelity – always.

Give
Give without expecting anything in return. Give because your heart says to give. Give her the best you have to offer. When she asks what's on your mind, give her an honest answer. When she needs comfort, give her more than she expects. When she needs to lift her head to see her mistakes, give her a tender nudge and then get out of the way. Give her a safe place to cry and to be weak. Give her the chance to be whoever she wants to be.

Share
Share everything. From the last piece of cake to monitoring your children's homework, take an active, equal role in the marriage. Resentment begins with a soft whisper before growing into a more demonstrative outburst. To share a life, the things in it must be shared too.

Enjoy
From the odd quarks to her radiance, and everything in between, enjoy your wife. Take her in. Watch as she sleeps, as she brushes her hair, as she sits next to you thumbing through a magazine. Watch her elegance, her tenderness and her expressions of joy, suspense, anger and fear. Bottle these moments in your mind and take them out whenever you want to enjoy a dose of her amazing beauty.

Persist
Managing finances, raising children, building a career, relocating, enduring a crisis, all contribute to the challenges every marriage faces. There's only one way for marriages to thrive despite these circumstances: Persistence. Be persistent during the times when it feels like the light is being consumed by the dark; remain faithful and believe the good will eventually trump the bad; never give up when you feel like everything you are building is about to fall. And what’s the source for this hope? Love. Surrender to love. Fall back into it and take your wife with you.

Homecoming

I excitedly heard the door open as Mary Beth pulled her car into the garage. She was home. When she walked into the house my heart skipped a beat before returning to its more reliable rhythm.

We hugged and then exchanged quick updates about dinner plans, her missing luggage mishap and where I put the mail. My wife and I were reconnecting our lives and it felt simply beautiful.

Please Spread the Word
Please tell your friends about The BridgeMaker by using the share buttons below. Every Retweet and Facebook share helps me grow my blog. I look forward to seeing you here again soon. Thank you for reading! – Alex

Please Spread the Word: 10 Free Ways to Support The BridgeMaker