Big Brother Blog: April 2010

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Posted: 29 Apr 2010 03:11 AM PDT

Faith isn’t faith until it’s all you’re holding on to. – Unknown

Article written by Alex Blackwell. Connect with me on Facebook.

Some days are a little harder than others. On these days, it seems like bad news is the only news and it feels like everything we touch turns out poorly. Some days our souls become restless, and we can't put our finger on the reason why.

But somehow we make it through. We dig down and uncover a little hope and some faith, too. It's good to know that even when we are facing the most difficult days, we find a way to hold it together and live to fight another day.

After all, faith's promise reminds us we can always see a little light even on the darkest day.

What holds me together

I pray my faith will remain strong and keep pointing me to the light. But when I'm facing challenging times, these are the things that hold me together when I feel like I'm falling apart…

believing God gives His strength to me. I know whatever happens; happens for a reason and according to a plan He has created just for me. During my weakest moments, I ask God to keep me together. He has never ignored me – not even once.
looking into the eyes of my children and seeing love looking back at me.
feeling my wife's gentle touch and allowing it to tell me I will never be alone and I will always be loved.
knowing there is art in me; and it is beautiful.
telling myself everything will be alright.
hearing a song and believing it was written just for me.
tracing my life every other Wednesday to a place where I never have to live again.
remembering it's never too late to start over.
pushing my garbage out of the way to hear the truth – a truth that tells me I am enough because God says I am enough.
understanding batting slumps don't last forever.
enjoying an after-dinner bowl of ice cream.
writing these words across my heart: I am a secure, confident, self-loving man.
smelling rain and welcoming the mercifulness that is beginning to fall inside of me.
saving some Grace for myself.
watching the sunrise and knowing Life, our guest, is on its way.
keeping my eyes wide open to what He is going to do next.
saying, "I love you," to the little boy who needs my love the most right now.
seeing what's good in me.
smiling, laughing, and not taking myself too seriously.
appreciating the good times and not over thinking the bad.
listening to my inner voice and doing what it's telling me to do.
looking to the western sky and not fearing the night.
remembering everyone deserves a second chance.
allowing good things to happen.
acknowledging what's true; what's a lie; and what needs to be changed.
dreaming anything I want.
needing little and wanting exactly what I have.
holding on to the promise that the point of being human is to love.
learning to erase the voice that tells me I will never win.
realizing my heart's true desire is happiness.

What holds you together?

Consider sharing what holds you together in Comments below.

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Monday, April 26, 2010

50 Extreme Guinness World Records | Weird Pictures, Wonderful Things

Living with Inspiration, Persistence and Failure | The BridgeMaker

Living with Inspiration, Persistence and Failure

Posted: 26 Apr 2010 03:11 AM PDT

I refuse to die in someone else's comfort zone. – Anonymous

Article written by BridgeMaker contributor Paul D. Fitzgerald. Follow him on Twitter.

Inspiration is the purest and most powerful source of human motivation. It is the fuel for persisting and the power to face down the fear of failure.

We can also be motivated by the negative energy of fear, regrets, or the should's imposed by the influence of other people or social groups whose approval we need to get or to keep. We may feel motivated by what appears to be positive energy; but it is really our infatuation with another person's apparent success. Neither of these are healthy expressions of our truest-self from inside out.

To feel "inspired" is a wonderful feeling. Our ability to tap into that energy is limited by the degree we have not learned to live with a sense we might fail. Resistance of all kinds comes along with inspiration.

In fact, one form of self-sabotaging resistance comes in the false belief, "If it's really an inspiration then it will be automatic or easy to achieve." Resistance sets us up to give up when we experience the inevitable discrepancy between what we hoped for and the hard process of making it happen.

Persistence to see the light

The archetypal story about facing failure with persistence is Thomas Edison's experience of over 700 failures to create an incandescent light bulb. He persisted by living with the apparent failures and reframing them as learning 700 things that did not work. The resistance he faced was not simply his internal fears, but the external pressure of peers who ridiculed him.

We are frequently surprised by external resistance from friends and family about our choice to make a healthy choice based on our inspiration (losing weight, going back to school, changing jobs, etc.). Acting on our inspiration challenges people in our life who know that a similar choice would be good for them, but the fear of failure and resistance stops them.

Live your inspiration

Our acting on inspiration can be an unconscious source of shame to them and they feel compelled to suggest what we are doing is foolish, dangerous or imply it will put the relationship with them at risk. We have to decide to act on our truest-self's inspiration and move outside our comfort zone or to allow others to imprison us in theirs.

Living our inspiration is quite distinct from the agenda that our culture's suggestion that ambition is what life is all about. As important as ambition is for getting the first-half of life started, living our inspiration will mean relinquishing ambition and success and our primary sense of worth and value.

For some of us it takes a crisis to wake us up to this reality. Many of us come to see it only in the second-half of life. Paradoxically, it means choosing to act on our inspiration (our soul's vocation) in the face of potential failure and resistance where there is no assurance of success, being honored or validated.

Where we choose to do what inspiration calls us toward for the sake of doing it – with the freedom to play, sacrifice, and participate in the mystery we are.

Dr. Paul Fitzgerald is a Life Coach and offers several dimensions to help clients move toward personal wholeness and create a fulfilling life. You may contact Dr. Paul at drpaul@heartconnexion.org.

Please Vote. The BridgeMaker has been nominated to receive a 2010 Intent Web Award as Best Spirituality Site. I would appreciate your vote, too. Click here to vote. Thank you!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

How to Stop a Bully | The BridgeMaker

How to Stop a Bully

Posted: 22 Apr 2010 03:28 AM PDT

I had my bully, and it was excruciating. Not only the bully, but the intimidation I felt. – Robert Cormier

Article written by Alex Blackwell. Connect with me on Facebook.

Recently my younger son has been the target of a bully. While coping with bullies has happened before with my other children, I was surprised it was happening to my son because he is a senior in high school. My belief, until now, was bullying was confined to the school playground.

In helping my son deal with his bully, it occurred to me that bullies are ageless and can be found anywhere. Bullies are in the workplace, in relationships and in our neighborhoods. Their methods may change, but their intent remains the same – to do hurtful things to their victims.

Dr. Dan Olweus of Norway, a pioneer in the field of bully prevention, defines bullying as, "When someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean things to another person who has a hard time defending herself or herself." These hurtful things can take on many forms, including:

Name calling and verbal harassment
Leaving another person out of a group
Physical bullying such as pushing, hitting or kicking
Taking away money or damaging personal property
Threatening or forcing another person to do things they don't want to do
Racial bullying
Sexual bullying
Cyber-bullying (text messaging or the Internet)

If it feels like someone is doing these things to you or to someone you love, then a bully may be in your life, too. However, you do have power and control in the situation by knowing what to do to put an end to the bullying.

Here are eight simple steps you can take right now to stop a bully:

Take it seriously.
When a bully's tactics cross the line, take the actions seriously. Typical warning signs include withdrawal, unexplained injuries, or becoming afraid to go to work or school. If the bullying is happening to someone close to you, address these signs with the person as soon as you notice them. If you are the victim, find someone to talk with about what is happening. Left ignored, the bullying will likely escalate.
Use your voice.
Workplace and schoolhouse bullies would prefer to keep their actions under the radar so they may continue. However, one of the most effective ways to stop bullying is to report the bully's actions to others. Be specific so the person receiving the information understands what is occurring and its impact on you or the victim.
Don't bully back.
This is a no-win deal. Often times, the bully is looking for an aggressive response so they can increase their bullying – perhaps with even more force and violence. As stated before, the best bet is to alert others to what is happening.
Provide consequences.
Adults who are being bullied can enforce some boundaries. For example, if you find yourself being bullied by a co-worker, or even a supervisor, tell the bully if the behavior doesn't stop then you will report him or her to the human resources department.
Don't take it personally.
What motivates a bully is usually an issue or a limitation the bully feels insecure with. Bullies target others to feel better about themselves. Even though being on the receiving-end of a bully's wrath is unpleasant, as well as unsafe, remember it's not about you; of anything you did wrong. When helping another person through their experience with a bully, remind them of their worth and value and to ignore the harsh name calling being fired at them.
Move past the shame.
Bullies will think they can continue the bullying because their victim may be too ashamed to say anything. When I was a child, the bullies taunted me about my speech impediment and the fact I had to wear eyeglasses – two things that brought me shame regardless if I was being bullied, or not. The bullying only exacerbated my shame. Now as an adult, I know the playground bullies from my past were motivated by their own shame. If you are a victim, understand the internalized guilt you feel belongs to the person bullying you. Give the shame back to the bully. When you do, you will begin to feel the power you do have.
Look for trends.
Bullies have patterns. At work, if you notice your boss is more aggressive just before an important meeting, then avoid these meetings, or least your interactions with your boss beforehand. If your child reports the bully is more hostile on the school bus, then consider alternative ways to get your child to school. Bullies adopt habits and trends. Becoming more aware of these trends, and then developing a plan to counter them, will put you in a better position to stop the bullying.
Use common sense when online.
Guard your passwords and the passwords of your children. Be discerning when considering if your elementary or middle school-aged child may create Facebook or email accounts. Limit social media friend requests and other contacts to only those people with whom you have positive relationship with offline. Watch the amount of time your child is spending online and monitor their emotions and behaviors afterwards.

Bullies can leave scars that last a lifetime. My goal is to keep my son safe and to provide the tools he needs. My hope is with the school year ending soon; the bullying will end with it. By helping him deal with his bully now, may prevent the scars he doesn't deserve.

Looking to make some improvements? Alex Blackwell is an effective writer, encourager and blog strategist. Get closer to your goals today with Alex.

Gorgeous Sunrise Photography – Designzzz

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Hossein Alizadeh ( Neynava ) -5 حسين علي زاده

Monday, April 19, 2010

Reigniting the Fire Within | The BridgeMaker

Reigniting the Fire Within

Posted: 19 Apr 2010 03:08 AM PDT

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. – Stephen R. Covey

Article by BridgeMaker contributor Ralph Jean-Paul. Please visit Ralph at Potential2Success.com.

I made my way to the sofa after finishing dinner from one of my favorite Chinese restaurants. It was a Sunday night and I was planning my week. Usually, I get excited about the events of the upcoming week but today was different.

Today I lacked the enthusiasm that usually accompanies my weekly planning.

Even though my fortune cookie read "doors will be opening for you in many areas of your life", I didn't feel any better. It wasn't that things were not going good in my life. In fact, things were going very well. But I somehow felt as though my drive and ambition was missing. The more I looked at my weekly plan, the more meaningless the tasks, meetings, and responsibilities became.

I had to do something about this mundane feeling. I decided to start by taking an inventory of my life.

Taking Inventory

If you've ever had a job where you had to take inventory, you know that it isn't the most enjoyable task there is. Essentially what you are doing is determining how much product you actually have in stock to sell. Hopefully, what you actually have will match what your records say you should have.

Similar to taking inventory for a retail store, I was going to take an inventory of my life. I wanted to know if I had "in stock" the things that enrich my life. These are the areas that I decided to examine:

Material Possessions.
A list of possessions that I've acquired within the past year that have enhanced my life in some way.
Experiences.
All of the good experiences that I was blessed to have. I also wanted to list negative experiences that I was able to learn from.
Skills, Talents, and Accomplishments.
My current skill set and talents as well as any new skills that I'm currently developing. Also, any professional or personal accomplishments and victories that have happened this year.
People and Relationships.
The people who are making a difference in my life and the state of our relationship.

I grabbed my little red notepad that usually sits on my computer desk and drove to one of my favorite parks. As I sat on the park bench, the signs of spring were all around. The trees were green again and baby ducklings followed their mother across the water.

When I began to take inventory, my mood began to change. I started to realize how much I've actually accomplish in the first part of the year. I felt my enthusiasm slowly beginning to return and my outlook becoming more positive.

After I completed my list, I looked at it with excitement. I was on track to accomplish many of the things that I wanted to achieve this year. But more importantly, I learned two valuable lessons that I will carry with me the rest of the year.

Reigniting the Fire Within

What Am I Becoming?

What a person becomes is much more important than who that person is and who they were in the past. After taking inventory of my life, I could see clearly what I was becoming. All of the actions, experiences, and people that were included in my inventory pointed to who I was becoming.

For example, I have a great mix of old and new friends that inspire and encourage me as well as a family that supports my dreams and goals. Being surrounded by so much support made me realize that I am becoming stronger and more confident in my abilities. I am becoming the man I was meant to be.

With every day that passes and every decision we make, we are either getting closer to becoming who we are supposed to be or we are taking a step back. Be sure that your decisions and actions reflect the person you want to become.

Understanding My "Why"

It's very easy to focus on the results of getting out of bed every morning instead of the purpose. When we wake up in the morning, get dressed, and go to work, the result is a paycheck. But why you are getting out of bed is really to support yourself, family, and lifestyle. It is the "why" that makes life worth living.

I love to see people succeed! I get excitement from helping them succeed. The love for helping others develop their God-given talent drives me forward every day. I also love challenging myself to accomplish new and exciting things and using that experience to inspire others to do the same. That is what really lights a fire in my belly. That is my "why".

If you have goals, dreams, and aspirations, go back to why you want those things to begin with. Return to your reason for getting out of bed.

I took that momentum and began writing new goals for the year. The fire was back!

What is your "why"? Please considering sharing in Comments below.

Ralph Jean-Paul is not only committed to his own personal development, but he is also committed to the personal development of everyone he comes in contact with. To learn more about Ralph, please visit Potential2Success.com.

Looking to make some improvements? Alex Blackwell is an effective writer, encourager and blog strategist. Get closer to your goals today with Alex.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Power of Staying the Course | The BridgeMaker

The Power of Staying the Course

Posted: 15 Apr 2010 03:09 AM PDT

Life’s weather is but temporary. It’s the seasons that really matter. – Anonymous

Article written by BridgeMaker contributor Lorraine Cohen. Please visit her at Powerfull Living.

Have you ever felt stretched to the limit? You believe that you cannot handle one more thing. And if something more happens that causes additional stress, pain, and anxiety you worry you might not be able to keep it together and you will fall apart.

And if there are others depending on you to be the "strong one" the pressure to hold things together becomes even more burdensome.

You might be facing relationship challenges, struggling to grow your business, dealing with family issues, money worries, debts, divorce, or an illness. You feel tired as if you have been in a battle and you just want a break, a time out, a space for things to be easier to catch your breath, at least for a while so that you can regain your strength for what's next.

Surrendering to faith

Some part of you is certain you will crash and burn while another part of you stands strong with a knowing that the place you are in is rich with growth opportunities with long term benefits if you will just stay the course. This part whispers, "Stay committed to your life path. Keep going and trust that all will be well."

You take a deep breath, renew your commitment, and take that next critical step to continue walking in faith. The yearning to fulfill your life purpose can give you strength and courage to overcome your fears and doubts.

I'm reminded of a scene in the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when the main character must take a step forward to get to the other side of a ravine and there is no bridge to cross. Once he takes that first step, a plank appears beneath his feet so he can cross safely. That's how the Universe responds to faith when we surrender the resistance – it shows up. That movie clip is one of the memories I recall when I am feeling fear rising.

There are no accidents without value

I've had several meltdowns in the last two months. I've been on my knees in prayer, alternating between sobbing and anger. I've been stepping out in my life and business in bigger ways and there have been financial, health, and time challenges that have created so much stress and stretched me to my limits.

In this emotionally charged space I've travelled though despair, hatred, desperation, frustration, depression, discouragement, anger, fear, to hopefulness, optimism, positive expectation, enthusiasm, happiness, passion, joy, and love. I'm feeling a bit wiped out from this internal battle I've been waging inside to navigate through the messiness of this life period.

I recall a dear friend asking me, "What if everything you are experiencing that is causing you pain and hardship was designed to bring you closer to your Divinity?"

That question resonated deeply in my heart to bring me peace and courage. I believe that every person and situation in our life is in service to our personal growth and soul evolution. And I want all the gifts, blessings, and miracles that have my name on it!

Walking through fire

When we come to the end of our tolerance with life situations and must take that step into a greater unknown, our mind and ego goes into a panic. Our mind believes if we take that leap and push farther outside of the safety of our comfort zone that its survival is at risk.

If we continue, our ego fears it will die and then what? What will happen to us? Our thoughts race with panic and perceived danger. Our self-talk paints a bleak picture of worse case scenarios with the finesse and skill of a seasoned litigator seeking to woo us back to it's version of safety.

My friend Brent says many people quit five minutes before the miracle happens. They come to a point where things feel too hard, too painful, and too uncomfortable. So they back off and return to their comfort zone.

So, I ask you now:

what are you totally committed to?
where is your breaking/braking point?
do you stop too soon and give up?
do you stay too long when it's time to let go?
what are you holding on to that is time to surrender?
what do you want so badly you are willing to do whatever it takes?
what fuels your courage and faith to stay the course no matter what?

Your past is a reflection of the choices you have already made. Each minute, each hour, and each day you make decisions that lay the groundwork for your future. Staying the course takes renewed commitment, trust, and faith that what we feel called to be or do is sanctioned by the Universe. It's like walking through fire and knowing that you won't get burned.
Stay the course – all will be well.

Founder of Powerfull-Living, Rev. Dr. Lorraine Cohen is a spiritual advisor, life coach, published writer, and inspirational speaker who is recognized as a cutting-edge expert in her field. Please consider her groundbreaking eBook How Do I Choose: A powerful five-step blueprint for making rock-solid decisions.

What Now? Help Share a Thousand Acts of Faith on Facebook.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Flying through Fear | The BridgeMaker

Flying through Fear

Posted: 12 Apr 2010 03:07 AM PDT

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. – Marianne Williamson

Article written by Alex Blackwell. Connect with me on Facebook.

On a recent flight back home, a woman held the boarding pass for A 58. My boarding pass was for A 57. She stood behind me as we waited. After the gate attendant announced the boarding process was beginning, fear overtook her. She started to weep and swayed from one foot to the other in an attempt to find some solid ground.

There was a young man behind her that noticed the fear, too. The lady asked him if everything was going to be okay. He reassured her. Then she asked him to put her in a seat. He committed to doing this.

On the way down the jet way, she kept asking, "You promise? You promise you will put me in a seat?"

"I promise," the young man replied back.

"Promise?" she asked again.

"I promise," he said again.

"Promise?"

Searching for security

I found an empty middle seat in Row 2. Nestling between two woman, both grandmothers, one going to see her grandchildren and one returning, I felt safe for the two-hour flight home. The frightened lady took the middle seat behind me.

She sat between two elderly women. The flight attendant approached to see if the women were being overwhelmed by the terrified woman sitting next to them. Both confirmed they were fine.

We pushed back from the gate and sat on the tarmac for about ten minutes as the pilot waited his turn to taxi. During this delay, the lady in the middle seat asked to be held. I heard sleeves ruffle as hands found her waiting arms. The strength in their grasps must have provided some needed relief. Shortly after takeoff she collapsed and found sleep. Seemingly exhausted by the fear, her body took over and provided some needed care.

Place your oxygen mask on first before helping the person next to you

Fear has been winning lately. It started a few months ago when I started waking up several times during the night. Lying in the darkness, my anxiety would escalate to the point that falling sleep again was a challenge.

Thoughts of not being safe in my own house paralyzed me. I listened intently to the night sounds. The creaks were scrutinized with an acute discernment to determine their origin. I found a measure of relief when the dogs were calm. No barking meant nothing unusual. Fear was present and I didn't know why.

The pilot signaled when the plane reached 10,000 feet. I reached for my laptop bag and searched for my iPod. Unraveling the ear buds, I placed the music in my ears and attempted to relax. The terrified woman was still asleep and I was praying for the same result.

Instead, my thoughts churned. I recalled the pre-flight safety instructions. While several of my fellow passengers ignored the words, I listened intently. I wanted to be prepared in case the worst happened. A sense of obligation swept over me. There was a terrified woman sitting behind me and somehow I felt responsible. I felt the need for some redemption.

Walking down the jet way and onto the plane I felt guilty that I wasn't the one offering the reassurance. It is my nature to help others, but I didn't do it this time. My selfishness surprised me. I guess I was putting my oxygen mask on first – and it felt unfamiliar.

Cruising

With music filling my head with its sweet relief, I noticed the seat belt sign was turned off. We were cruising now. No turbulence made for a safe flight.

Sitting between the comfortable securities, I allowed my mind to go deep. It was given permission to wander. For the next 90 minutes I didn't have to be anywhere or to do anything. I could use this time to figure out the fear.

Fear keeps a safe distance during the day, but at night it feels our vulnerability. It takes advantage of our helpless state and exploits our weaknesses. My weakness has been the thought my life is not enough; that I am falling short and my life is not counting. My expectation is I would be in a different place than I am now. My fear is my life will be over soon and I have not even lived it. I fear the promise of true happiness is like a bully taunting me with its cruel arrogance.

The sins from my past carry into my present. The shadows of my mother continue to haunt me and bait me into believing I will turn out just like her. My capacity to self-love remains a challenge and I feel unworthy to have what I have. My fear tells me that I'm not enough, and in the early morning hours when sleep abandons me, is when fear does the most damage.

Final descent

The Southwest pilot signaled the plane was making its final descent. I looked through the airplane's small window and saw the world begin to rise up and welcome me back home. After returning the iPod to my bag, I pressed the button to snap my seat back into position. I was ready to land.

The terrified woman was awake now. She sighed deeply, but the sighs sounded more like relief this time. She thanked the lady on her left and apologized to the lady on her right for the scene she made earlier.

Both were gracious and assured her it was no problem. I was surprised by how she let her guard down so soon. We were still five minutes from touching down. The pilot had to land the plane for us to be completely safe.

I wondered if she understood this, or if because the flight attendant said, "Welcome to Kansas City," after the final safety announcement she thought the journey was over and she was safe. Maybe fear is just a state of mind when we lack sufficient information to know any better. Or maybe fear is a reaction to something we have experienced before, but with unpleasant consequences. So, when we see it again, we naturally dread it.

I have been praying for fear's final decent so my soul can let down it guard and rest again. With the ground just a few hundred feet below me, it occurred to me how I could chase fear out of my mind and return to a place of peace.

Baggage claim

After parking at the arrival gate, the seat belt sign was turned off for the last time. The grandmother who was on her way to visit her grandchildren waited for a wheelchair. I placed my hand under her arm and gently hoisted her up. Helping to keep her steady, my grip tightened as she turned to sit down. Once safely in the wheelchair, the escort pushed her up the jet way and out of my eyesight.

I will probably never see her again, but I will never forget the presence her comfort provided for a very brief time in my life. The grandmother who was sitting to my right walked up the jet way with me. Once we reached the end, she found her husband. We said goodbye to each other. And under my breath, I whispered, "thank you."

Standing at the baggage carousel, I scanned the group to find the terrified woman. My eyes panned the area several times looking for her. Finally, my glance settled on a woman who resembled her, but I couldn't believe it was actually her. Her face looked remarkably different. It was no longer drawn up and tight. Her eyes were bright and she smiled beautifully as she chatted with the group who greeted her.

Her fear had been pushed out. It was replaced with something that looked like ecstasy. I envied her and wanted the same thing for me.

In that moment when the plane was about to find the ground, I realized that I am the one who is keeping the fear alive because I am allowing it to have power over me. My doubts, my insecurities, and my inability to love myself exist because I allow these things to exist. I have created this fear and all the baggage that has come with it. It is up to me to cast it away and claim a life that is waiting just for me.

Flying through fear has been a reminder of a past I was not responsible for creating. What happened almost a lifetime ago is now dead and buried. It's time to bury my fear along with it. It's time to place my oxygen mask on first and breathe in the intoxicating freedom.

The belt on the baggage carousel brought my green garment bag to me. I grabbed it and started for the parking garage. Walking out, I noticed the young man who helped the terrified woman was still waiting for his bag. He looked calm and patient. No doubt he has been breathing from his oxygen mask for some time now. Good for him, I thought, good for him.

Once in my car and heading home, I promised myself a good night's sleep tonight and for the nights to come. And when I feel the fear begin to stir and keep me from what I deserve, I will ask myself, "Do you promise not to allow the fear to have power any longer?"

"I promise."

"Promise?"

I promise.

What Now? Help Share a Thousand Acts of Faith on Facebook.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Renewal of Enthusiasm | The BridgeMaker

The Renewal of Enthusiasm

Posted: 08 Apr 2010 04:50 AM PDT

So as long as a person is capable of self-renewal, they are a living being. – Henri Frederic Amiel

Article written by BridgeMaker contributor Ali Hale. Please visit her at Aliventures.com.

All my life, I’ve had a range of quite disparate interests. In my last two years of school (what we call “sixth form” here in the UK); I studied English, Math, Physics, Politics and Philosophy. In more recent years, I’ve managed to combine two of my key loves – writing and computers – in my career as a blogger.

But my underlying need for lots of different interest and activities remains. I get bored quickly; I take things up for a brief, passionate spell, and then drop them. Often, I go through a cycle of activity followed by a long break in different areas. With the things which really matter to me, though, a renewed interest has always returned.

The Fallow Times

In order for productive times of growth and eventual harvest, it’s also necessary to have times when everything is silent and seems empty – when even the seeds haven’t yet sprouted.

I took a long break from writing fiction when I started out blogging. I loved the comparative ease of non-fiction writing, and the ability to publish posts and get feedback almost instantly. After months of this, I started an MA in Creative Writing in October 2008 with some trepidation: had my desire to write fiction gone altogether? Ever since being a small child, I’d made up fantasy worlds and stories –but now I felt no real desire whatsoever to write fiction.

The Conditions for Growth

Happily, my interest in fiction hadn’t vanished at all. With the support of fellow students and my tutors, and the creative energy of the university environment, I soon started on a novel – the “seeds” of which had been waiting patiently for years.

This is a pattern which I see in other areas of my life. When my spiritual life has felt dry and shallow, renewal comes through reconnecting with God: perhaps through a new church, a weekend retreat, or simply daily time spent in prayer.

If I want to rekindle a particular enthusiasm that means paying attention to the environment in which I’m living. Sometimes, particular pursuits simply aren’t possible because of the physical circumstances.

For example, one of my hopes for the summer (when my fiancé and I move to live near my parents) is that I can start learning the piano again: I enjoy playing it when I visit my family, but I don’t have a keyboard or piano at present. A part of me regrets giving up piano lessons when I was a child; another part of me is surprised that, more than a decade since I gave up learning, I can still play at all!

The Importance of the Dry Times

I have a tendency to worry when I’m not producing any obvious fruit in areas of my life. When I haven’t written fiction for a while, I miss the writing and I also get anxious about whether I’ll ever write again.

When I feel spiritually lost or alone, I worry that all my faith in the past meant nothing, and that I’ll never find my way back to God. When I set aside a particular hobby for a time, I’m prone to thinking that I’ll never want to go back to it.

Over the years, I’ve become more accepting of the ups and downs in different areas of my life. I’ve also found that a “dry” or “quiet” spell doesn’t necessarily mean that nothing is happening. When I take a break from my novel, I return with new ideas and refreshed enthusiasm.

When my spiritual life is not all I hope, it’s a cue to examine where I may need to make changes. If I’ve not touched a piano or picked up my cross-stitching for months on end, that doesn’t mean I’ve lost interest for ever – I often return with a new excitement.

I’m still learning to trust and to accept that renewal does and will come. When I look back on times which have felt empty, I’ve realized that they’re just as important as the times of obvious growth in my life. My interests and enthusiasms may wax and wane, but they don’t vanish: all the aspects of my life which matter to me always return.

Ali Hale is a freelance writer from London in the UK, and is currently taking an MA in creative writing. She writes for a number of sites, including her own Aliventures blog which focuses on getting more from life.

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About Me

Friday, April 30, 2010

Thursday, April 29, 2010

What holds me together

What holds you together?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Monday, April 26, 2010

Persistence to see the light

Live your inspiration

Friday, April 23, 2010

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Monday, April 19, 2010

Taking Inventory

Reigniting the Fire Within

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Surrendering to faith

There are no accidents without value

Walking through fire

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Monday, April 12, 2010

Searching for security

Place your oxygen mask on first before helping the person next to you

Cruising

Final descent

Baggage claim

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Fallow Times

The Conditions for Growth

The Importance of the Dry Times