Big Brother Blog: September 2009

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Through a Window

Through a Window
Originally uploaded by Enzo D.

The Raibow

IMG_0419
Originally uploaded by Holga-Jen

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

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Lovely Music

Great Music !!!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Invisible Loyalties: Life-Giving or Life-Taking? | The BridgeMaker

Invisible Loyalties: Life-Giving or Life-Taking?

Posted: 28 Sep 2009 03:16 AM PDT

invisible-loyalties

Loyalty is the pledge of truth to oneself and others. - Ada Velez-Boardley

Article written by BridgeMaker contributor Paul D. Fitzgerald. Follow him on Twitter.

Unquestionably, loyalty is a character virtue we all want people to ascribe to us. Who doesn't drop a comment about being "a loyal employee" in a job interview? We want it visible.

We are attracted to people who demonstrate loyalty. An accusation of being disloyal is a major affront for most of us. The trait itself does not distinguish whether our loyalty will be viewed as honorable or dishonorable by others. After all, someone had to be pretty loyal to Bernard Madoff to keep his ponzi scheme hidden; the old "honor among thieves" kind of loyalty.

Paradoxically, our "invisible loyalties" can both help in developing resiliency in life and also keep us stuck in old patterns. An innocuous example of invisible loyalty is the brand preference that every marketer seeks to develop in us toward their brand.

We find ourselves going to the same stores and making repeat purchases without even being aware of the invisible loyalties we've developed. Try bringing home a different brand from the store and see what kind of explaining is needed.

Loyalty to people with significant influence in our life - parents, grandparents, coaches, teachers, etc. - may help us keep a dream alive and persist though to achieving it. That the storyline of so many autobiographies and the inspiration for films - the promise to a dying parent, the stuff of true love, and the hope every family has to see the next generation more "successful" than they were.

But it is also true that invisible loyalty may keep us stuck, pursuing a life course many of those same influencers "expected" even when it is not our passion nor a match to our skill set. The idea of changing major life choices can bring up powerful shame-feelings of being disloyal to them or that it would "break their heart" - so we keep going without heart.

We may have powerful invisible loyalties to decisions we made at earlier, less mature stages of our life. There are many people who experienced painful family relationships and at a young age made a promise to themselves, "When I grow I will never be like my [father or mother]!

Amazingly, many people can remember the exact age when that became their life-contract. Unfortunately, the only way to achieve that is to live a perfect life, never get angry, always have money to pay the bills and avoid all stress. Since that is impossible, they often act in ways that are disloyal to their commitment, feel like a failure and then renew the promise again.

It becomes a defeating cycle that gives power to the very people they dislike most. It is important to know that keeping focused on what we're not going to be like we have to hold that negative image close. It's like someone saying, "Don't you dare think of a purple elephant!" and you can't not picture it.

Becoming aware of our "invisible loyalties" is an important part of taking a healthy self-inventory. Here are six questions to ask yourself about invisible loyalties that might indicate the presence of unconscious limitations on your life. Remember, not all invisible loyalties are life-taking; many may be life-giving.

Whom would you fear/dread disappointing if you made a major life change (vocation, moving a significant distance away, etc.)?
Whose approval do you feel you are you still missing?
Where are you not "moving on" because it would feel disloyal to a mentor-figure?
Would you feel disloyal if you set healthy boundaries in relationships that are more life-taking than life-giving?
Whom/what did you promise yourself to never be like or to avoid experiencing yet you struggle to live that promise successfully?
What growth opportunities have you passes up because you sensed it might jeopardize peer or social relationships?

Dr. Paul Fitzgerald is a Life Coach and offers several dimensions to help clients move toward personal wholeness and create a fulfilling life. You may contact Dr. Paul at drpaul@heartconnexion.org.

Invisible Loyalties: Life-Giving or Life-Taking?

You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Finding Inspiration Everyday | The BridgeMaker

Finding Inspiration Everyday

Posted: 26 Sep 2009 10:32 AM PDT

finding inspiration

When I discover who I am, I’ll be free. - Ralph Ellison

Inspiration can be found at the oddest times and in the strangest places. It doesn't require privilege or even luck, finding inspiration is a choice when we take the time to look for it and then receive it.

Inspiration is a motivator to keep moving forward during times when we feel stuck or defeated. It provides a spark to ignite our creative fires so we can approach a problem or an opportunity in a new way. Inspiration is the fuel we put into our tanks when the needle is hovering on empty.

Inspiration on Demand

I'm excited to share Inspiration on Demand: Free eReports You Can Download Now. This set of reports is intended to give you that spark and to help you find inspiration when you need it most; plus more:

These eReports will always be free.
You do not have to give your email address or subscribe to a newsletter. Access to the reports is unconditional.
You are encouraged to share them with anyone you think would benefit from their inspirational message.
These free eReports are saved in a PDF format. After downloading one, you can easily save it to your computer and then attach it to an email to send to others.
The reports are un-copyrighted which means if you are a writer, blogger, or website owner you can republish all or part of the content. All I ask is you give The BridgeMaker credit by way of a link or byline.
More reports will be coming soon. Look for future announcements and please come back to read them.

The following five reports are available for immediate download right now. Please enjoy:

10 Steps for Transforming Negative Thoughts into Positive Beliefs
Positive thoughts create more positive circumstances. Alternatively, negative thoughts contribute to feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment. Therefore, changing our negative thoughts is essential to achieve happiness and peace. The following are the most common negative thinking behaviors. Becoming aware of these is essential to transforming negative thoughts into positive beliefs. Download Now
Five Powerful Ways to Regain Control of Your Life
We do have the power to reclaim and create the life we want. If we choose to learn the following and apply the powerful lessons found in each, then we can begin to take back control of our life. Download Now
How to Surrender and Get the Most Out of Life
Anxiety can be replaced with peace and restlessness can be exchanged for clarity when we let go and surrender our lives to His plan. The control we think we need is actually the biggest obstacle to creating the life waiting for us. Download Now
One Dozen Out-Of-The Box Ideas to Inspire Romance
Here are one dozen out-of-the-box gift ideas to help you think differently about what to give on the days your want to inspire romance and let your partner know how much they mean to you. Download Now
The Most Important Values to Live By
Regardless if we recognize them or not, values do naturally exist. Our lives can become less stressful, and more productive, when we acknowledge our personal values – and then make the attempt to live by and honor these values regardless of the circumstances we encounter. Download Now

Need My Help Now?

You can now connect with me at LivePerson.com to receive faith-based life advice, encouragement, and personal empowerment. You are welcome to reach out to me via telephone, chat or email to have a meaningful discussion about the issues you are facing right now.

My job is to listen, be non-judgmental and offer suggestions or a different point-of-view, if requested. Your privacy is guaranteed and I will never share or discuss our conversation. To get started:

Go to http://www.liveperson.com/c-alex-blackwell
Select the button underneath my picture to initiate a conversation.
All sessions start free.
I also offer a free email follow-up service. After we talk, if you would like to email me with follow-up questions or comments, you may do so at no charge.

Finding Inspiration Elsewhere

The BridgeMaker is not the only place to find inspiration. MindBodyGreen has recently re-launched its website with a mission to spread the message that living better, healthier and greener can be more fulfilling. MBG now provides new editorial content and inspiring Q & A interviews to complement their existing user-submitted platform.

Jason Wachob, founder of MindBodyGreen.com, states, " Our new editorial content will hopefully help people who want to make lifestyle changes by providing easy tips, beginners' guides, book suggestions, and digestible best-of lists for better, healthier and greener living."

I visit MBG every morning as part of my routine to read the latest in personal growth, spiritual and inspirational topics. Wachob's website provides substantive and thoughtful articles on a consistent basis. It's an inspirational way to start my day.

Highlights of MindBodyGreen include:

Mind
Goal Setting Tips: The 7 P’s – Goal setting can be overwhelming. MBG breaks it down and has some fun along the way with their 7 P's.
Beginners Meditation – So many want to begin meditation but don't know how to start. This article provides a good start.
Body
Types of Yoga – There are many types of yoga, but for those getting started it's important to find the right type of yoga. MBG introduces its readers to the five most common and popular types.
7 Chakras – If you're interested in learning more about mind/body wellness then you'll definitely want to check out this beginner's guide. The 7 Chakras play a role in yoga, acupuncture, and all forms of mind/body wellness.
Green
Container Homes – Many of us have seen pictures of these modern homes made from shipping containers sprout up across the country. But what are they, why are they efficient, and why are they so popular?
Eco-Friendly Kitchen Tips – Kitchens can be expensive but greening yours doesn't have to be. (These tips actually don't call for spending any money at all). You'll be surprised how little you need to do to be greener and save money on your energy bill.

I invite you to visit the new MindBodyGreen.com today.

…and finding a little more inspiration

I'm proud to announce The BridgeMaker is now part of the Alltop.com community. Alltop is a self-described "online magazine rack" whose mission is to provide the best online resources available. You can find The BridgeMaker on the Inspiration page.

Finding Inspiration Everyday

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Escape the Rut and Embrace Your Life | The BridgeMaker

Escape the Rut and Embrace Your Life

Posted: 23 Sep 2009 04:42 PM PDT

escape-the-rut-and-embrace-your-life

The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions. - Ellen Glasgow

Article by BridgeMaker contributor Ralph Jean-Paul. Please visit him at Potential2Success.com.

Do you ever felt like you are stuck in a loop? Like a hamster running around in a wheel that is spinning but not going anywhere? We have all felt this way at one time or another. The question is, how do we remove ourselves from this seemingly helpless circumstance?

Being stuck in a rut can sometimes feel like a powerless situation with no light at the end of the tunnel. The rut is usually accompanied by inactivity, depression, and anger which often make the situation worse.

One of the major ruts that I have experienced happened about four years ago and seemed to last forever. I had been doing well in my career and taking part in activities that I was proud of. My relationships were intact and I was optimistic about my future. Even with everything going my way, I fell into a major rut that seemed to come out of nowhere.

After searching and searching, I finally realized that I was bored. And it wasn’t the type of boredom a 9 –year-old gets when he has too much time on his hands and there is nothing good on TV. This was the type of boredom that had been building and building for months.

I had come off of an amazing few months of activity, experience, and excitement but now the routine was becoming unexciting. Once I realized what was causing my rut, I took action to pull myself out.

Here are some of the types of ruts you may have experienced:

Relationship
Dating slumps and relationships that do not seem to progress are types of relationship ruts.
Career
Being in a job position or field for too long without advancement can make a person feel stuck.
Daily Routine
Driving on same roads, working the same hours, in the same office, and with the same people, can often lead to boredom.
Physical
We can experience this type of rut when we workout and eat right and still do not get the physical results that we desire.
Financial
When we work hard but do not see our financial situation improve we can feel like we are on a merry-go-round.

Press "Reset"

As a kid I use to love to play my Nintendo game system for hours a day. Occasionally, the game would have a glitch and freeze. It was very frustrating because the glitch seemed to happen at the worst possible time - like right before I was about to advance to a new level. Or sometimes it would occur during a battle that I was winning.

I would usually hope that the game would somehow fix itself. I would press every button on the controller and even bang the side of the game console hoping this would fix the problem. But ultimately, I knew that there was only one way to fix the problem and it was the one option I didn’t want to do-press the "reset" button. I can remember feeling angry and discouraged about pressing the reset button because I didn't want to start the game over from the beginning.

When we are stuck in a rut, it is sometimes beneficial to revisit the beginning of our journey. Revisit some of your goals and see if they are still relevant in your life. Perhaps you have a goal that you have been working towards but now, that goal is no longer as important as it once was.

If you keep a journal, go back and see what was written in your old journals. There may have been some lost passions or dreams that fire your heart that you have put on the shelf. Perhaps there is someone that used to give you joy but that person has slipped out of your life. Maybe it's time to reconnect with that person. When the feeling of being stuck invades and resides in our everyday lives, it is time to press the reset button.

Answer the Hard Questions

At times, feeling like you are in a rut may be an indication that there needs to be a major change in your life. There may be some major questions about life, love, and purpose that need to be addressed.
Life’s tough questions usually have tough answers. Many people do not want to face these questions so they fill their time with projects, tasks, and other things that aren’t as important.

This is how many people fall into the trap of chasing superficial goals such as money or fame. Some people will spend years of their lives just to come to the realization that what they were chasing will not make them happy.

Answering the hard questions involves taking a good look at who you are and who you could be. It can be a soul searching experience. When I get into a rut, I take some time to reevaluate my priorities. Our daily life activities can keep us pretty busy. We also have responsibilities to family, friends, and employers that we must honor. All of this busyness can sometimes keep us from answering some questions that are imperative to our personal growth.

Some hard questions:
-Am I fulfilling my purpose?
-What do I believe and why do I believe it?
-What am I doing that is keeping me in this situation?
-What am I afraid will happen?
-What am I afraid won’t happen?
-Am I at the place in my life that I would like to be?

Being in a rut can be caused by something small such as doing the same repetitive tasks every day at work. Or the rut can be a sign that you are not happy with the direction your life has been going in. Asking yourself the tough questions can help decipher the difference.

Creating an Escape Plan

Being in a rut can feel like being sentenced to 20 years in prison. Although you know one day you will be free, that day seems very far away. During your slump or rut, one of the best things that can be done is to create a plan to prepare yourself for escape.

I was once in a financial rut that threatened to altar my entire way of living. It seemed as though the bills were flooding my mailbox daily and every few days I owed some company money. I felt helpless to do anything about it.

My only hope was to create a plan that would somehow enable me to manage my finances and begin to regain control. I took an entire day to make changes in my financial practices. I changed the billing cycle on all of my bills so that half of my bills would be paid on the 1st of each month and the other half on the 15th.

It was a simple change that allowed me to gain control. Instead of a new bills coming in every week, I dealt with all of my bills just two times a month. This bulking strategy worked so well, I have incorporated it into other parts of my life.

We must remember that even though we are in a tight spot, there is usually something that we can do to help the situation. The escape plan can help you look at your situation and organize a strategy to combat your rut. Once your escape plan is in place, it is time to take decisive action.

Taking Decisive Actions

Most of the ruts that way face are made worse by inactivity. But repeating the same actions does little to change our circumstances. It is important to take action towards getting out of the rut but it is even more important that the right steps are taken.

Have had a goal to lose a lot of weight? Most people who begin an exercise program to lose weight usually have no problem losing weight during the first few weeks. This is because body reacts well to the sudden change in diet and physical activity. But as the weeks go by, the progress tends to slow as the body gets accustomed to the new routine.

Professional Trainer Tony Horton suggest that to get better results, we should "shock the body" by changing the workout. Introducing new routines and exercises keeps your body from reaching a plateau of progress.

Taking new actions can be just what you need to get out of your rut. Perhaps the actions that you have been accustomed to have served their purpose and now it is time to change those actions to get better results. Here is a list of actions that may help lead you out of your rut.

Collect feedback: Are you really in a rut or does it just feel like it? Ask the people around what their perceptions are about your situation. Gaining a different perspective can help you see a clear path out of your rut.

Change in environment: Taking yourself out of your current environment can help you see things in a different light. It may be a temporary change such as a long weekend out of town or a permanent change that takes you to another country. Rearranging your home or workplace can also have a similar effect.

Change yourself: Begin to create new habits and routines. Looking at what you do every day and finding a new way to do it will create new results.

Try Something New: A new experience can help propel you out of your rut. Begin to think about new things you would like to experience.

Being stuck in a rut may be an indication that your life needs to be changed. Left unaddressed, a rut or a slump can lead to depression, anger, or resentment. Take control of your life and take action to reclaim the exciting and fulfilled life you deserve.

Ralph Jean-Paul is not only committed to his own personal development, but he is also committed to the personal development of everyone he comes in contact with. This desire to see growth in himself lead him to begin to mentor others. Ralph also found his purpose when he began to speak at universities, corporations, associations and other organizations. To learn more about Ralph, please visit Potential2Success.com.

Escape the Rut and Embrace Your Life

Monday, September 21, 2009

The Amazing Benefits Running Provides (plus My Personal Training Plan for a 5K Race and Beyond) | The BridgeMaker

The Amazing Benefits Running Provides (plus My Personal Training Plan for a 5K Race and Beyond)

Posted: 21 Sep 2009 03:47 AM PDT

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The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is I had the courage to start. - Ann Trason

Article written by Alex Blackwell. Connect with me on Facebook.

With everything going on in my life right now, I have decided to add training for a 5K race to the mix. The challenge is not to finish, but to complete the 3.1 miles in less than 25 minutes. Accomplishing this goal, I believe, will provide a boost in my confidence to face other challenges confronting me right now.

Race day will be Thanksgiving Day, November 26 – in nine weeks. I have been exercising regularly for the past seven years, but not with a definite goal in mind other than to watch my weight and to keep my heart strong. A 5K race seems like the right event for me because the distance is not overwhelming. Training for a marathon, or even a half-marathon, would require more time than I am able to devote.

I have nine weeks to build my strength and endurance to finish the race in 24:59, or less. The training will give me with an opportunity to test my physical abilities. The tangible benefits of running have been well documented. It does help to maintain my body weight and to help keep me looking young and vibrant, but the real reason I have decided to train for the 5K race is to enjoy the intangible benefits running provides.

Running Through the Wall

Running can test how far we really want to go. Running can make us crave to see the finish line, while refusing to stop until we get there. Running is personal and private. As our feet strike against the pavement and move straight ahead, our minds are free to wander in any direction they choose. Running is something we sometimes hate to do, but love the feeling afterwards.

Running is particularly good for my soul. In an odd twist of irony it allows me to catch my breath and puts my life into a slower motion so I can see the true progress I'm making.

Running provides the momentum necessary to appreciate the good things in my life. Over the next nine weeks, I'm looking forward to realizing more of the amazing benefits running provides:

Commitment to a goal
This blog post is a public commitment to a goal. The goal is not only to go through with running the 5K race, but to do it in less than 25 minutes. Public accountability can be a good thing when the motivation for doing so is sincere.

There will be days when I'm scheduled to run (see my personal training plan below), but think of every excuse not to run. Remembering this commitment, and the other commitments I have made to myself, will keep me motivated to reach my goals.
Finish what I start
I want to finish the nine week training program and I want to finish the race in the designated time. Running is life's perfect metaphor to finish what we start. There are some other things that will require my attention after the race and I want to finish those things, too.
The confidence spill-over effect
I like how I look and how I fit in my clothes when I'm in a running phase. I like the feeling of motivating myself to run and then enjoying the exhilarating feeling of running through the wall about halfway through.

Running gives me confidence that spills over into other parts of my life. This dose of confidence fills me with a sense of empowerment that reminds me I can run through any wall or run over the obstacles placed before me.
Productive way to deal with stress
For me, running is a better alternative than reaching for a glass of wine or aimlessly surfing the internet. Stress, like sweat, begins to seep out of my body and then drips away.
Focus on one task at a time
When I'm running; that's it, that's all I'm doing. My focus is to get started, run at my personal pace and then to finish. Running reminds me that when my concentration is on one thing, there is a better chance I will successfully complete the task at hand.
Willpower
Willpower is needed to see the run through to the end. Willpower is needed to ignore the tweak in my knee. Willpower is needed to schedule 75 minutes; five days of the week and do everything possible to accomplish each workout.

The willpower gained from running can be extended to other areas in my life which could benefit from some perseverance, too.

My Personal Training Plan

This is my plan. I'm sharing it to provide some context for the type of training that will be required. Please consult with your medical doctor or health care provider before stating your own training plan.

A 5K race is more about strength than it is endurance. While 3.1 miles is not a very long race compared to 10K and longer events, the distance should not be underestimated – 3.1 miles is still a long way to run. However, having good upper-body strength is beneficial to "gut-through" the three+ miles at a quick pace. Knowing I need to build cardio endurance and strength, here's my personal training plan:

Sunday

Run: 35 minutes or four miles on a treadmill (I'm trying to nurture a bad knee, so I will mix-in runs on a treadmill with outdoor running. A treadmill absorbs the shock better than a paved street does).
Strength Training: 30 minutes of weight training. The focus will be on either arms and shoulders or chest and back depending on what I focused on the last time I did strength training.

Monday

Rest day – it's important to give my body time to recover and heal.

Tuesday

Run: 3.1 miles, outside and at race speed (or as hard as I can run in the early weeks. I will build my pace to eight-minute miles over the nine week training period.)
Strength Training: 100 push-ups.

Wednesday

Run: 30 minutes, outside and at a comfortable pace (nine-minute miles, for example)
Strength Training: 100 push-ups.

Thursday

Cardio: 30 minutes on an elliptical machine (it's best to give my body some variety and to protect my knee).
Strength Training: 30 minutes of weight training.

Friday

Another rest day.

Saturday

Run: 35 minutes or four miles on a treadmill.
Strength Training: 30 minutes of weight training.

Additional 5K training resources

25 Inspiring Tips to Get You Moving

If you are inspired to enjoy the tangible, and the intangible, benefits of training for a 5K race, consider these basic tips to keep you healthy and motivated:

Register for a race as soon as you feel inspired to do so. Check out Runner's World Race Finder to locate a race near you.
Find an accountability partner. This can be someone who will run with you or will monitor your personal training plan.
Running gets easier. Stick with it.
Understand, and accept, that each time your run will not be a good run. Some days, just like in other parts of our lives, are better than others.
Run for yourself. Don't compare yourself to other runners you see. You have your reasons and goals for running – stay within yourself.
Don't over think it.
Find some motivational songs to keep you going and put these on your MP3 player and then plug-in and go.
Start a running journal or blog to record your progress as well as your thoughts, emotions and feelings.
Running is not an excuse to eat everything in sight – runners can gain weight, too.
Drink approximately eight glasses of water on the days you are scheduled to run.
To assist your body in recovering after a run, eat and drink in the hour immediately after your run.
Pace yourself through your training program. Do not increase your mileage more than 10 percent per week.

Do not run at your "race pace" on back-to-back days.
Put self-pride aside and put ice on your aches and pains as soon as you feel them; but don't ice for more than 20 minutes.
If you have not been running, create a training plan that keeps your distances short at first, and then build to longer distances as you go. This will help to avoid injury or soreness so you don't quit.
Pick a convenient outdoor route. The easier you make it for yourself, the more likely you are to stick with it.
Spend your time on running and training; not looking for the latest running gadgets and apparel.
If you can't finish a scheduled a run, remember this: There is no shame in walking.
Subscribe to a running magazine.
Did you know four laps around your high school track equals one mile?
Practice running hard in the last phase of your run. This is when your muscles are the most flexible.
Race day is not the day to wear new shoes.
When running outdoors, run facing traffic.
And never assume a car sees you.
Forgive yourself if you miss a run or get off your schedule for a period of time – life can get in the way. Training for a 5K should be enjoyable; not stressful.

The Starting Line

The next nine weeks will be a test. My commitment, focus, confidence and willpower will be tested each day. There will be days, I'm sure, when I'm lacking the energy to train or believe no matter how hard I try, I will not be able to run the 3.1 miles in less than 25 minutes.

When these days happen, I will remember the times when I started, and finished, and how good I felt afterwards. My personal training plan is also a blueprint for how I want to approach the others parts of my life.

My training plan will remind me to hit some days harder than others and to rest along the way. It will strengthen my confidence and deepen my willpower. Training for the 5K race provides the courage to step up to the starting line and begin moving in the direction I want to go.

When I cross the finish line, I will look for the clock. If it's less than 25 minutes, I will allow myself to celebrate. It it's more than 25 minutes I will celebrate the courage it took to start. Regardless of the finishing time, I will remember what someone told me several years ago, "The training is never over."

On November 27, I will start again. Perhaps stronger and with more confidence to stick to a plan made just for me.

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